


And we're starting at the end

by MissLii



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Curly-Haired Liam, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Light Angst, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 03:18:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 34,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5990122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissLii/pseuds/MissLii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is still going over the numbers for the meeting he’s supposed to be at, in like five minutes. <em>Maybe</em>. Louis isn’t really certain that’s right. He’s got Niall, the world’s best assistant he’s sure, good at both dealing with people over the phone, and doing clever coloured spreadsheets that make Louis able to handle his side of the business as CEO for his own record company.</p><p>He just needs to drag himself out of bed in time and actually look at the bright green and orange spreadsheets.</p><p>Someone’s in the way and instead of him pushing the door open with one shoulder, all his stuff, including the still hot tea, slip out of  his hands. Just in the last minute, he finds his balance and manages to avoid sprawling out of the floor. </p><p>Unlike the bloke who’s stock still, staring up at him unblinkingly from the floor</p><p> </p><p>  <em>Or:  Liam’s already in a relationship when Louis meets him. It’s not a happy one. </em></p>
            </blockquote>





	And we're starting at the end

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Big Bang Round 4. Listen to the lovely fanmix by [Sarah](http://spankmeniall.tumblr.com) [here](http://8tracks.com/muscadinia/and-we-re-starting-at-the-end). 
> 
> Disclaimer: standard disclaimer. I don't own 1D, never have, never will be.  
> (Also, thanks to T.C for the help with beta reading. As always, any remaining mistakes are my own. Thanks to Sarah, and everyone that have cheered me on.)

Louis doesn’t really pay attention to where he’s going. It’s not like it’s the first time he’s rushed to his office, his mobile in one hand and a takeaway cup of tea in the other. 

He’s good at a lot of things, but being on time isn’t really one of them. 

Most people know to get out of the way as he rushes into a room. He’s not very tall, but he’s got pointy elbows and has used them more than once to make sure he’s where he’s supposed to, even if he’s there at the last minute. 

He’s still going over the numbers for the meeting he’s supposed to be at, in like five minutes. _Maybe_. Louis isn’t really certain that’s right. He’s got Niall, the world’s best assistant he’s sure, good at both dealing with people over the phone, and doing clever coloured spreadsheets that make Louis able to handle his side of the business as CEO for his own record company.

He just needs to drag himself out of bed in time and actually look at the bright green and orange spreadsheets.

This time, someone’s in the way and instead of him pushing the door open with one shoulder, all his stuff, including the still hot tea, slip out of his hands. Just in the last minute, he finds his balance and manages to avoid sprawling out of the floor. Unlike the bloke who’s stock still, staring up at him unblinkingly from the floor.

Annoyed that his phone is probably ruined by the tea, if it’s not cracked like his last two phones, he huffs and crosses his arms. Just as he’s about to say something, he can almost hear Harry scolding him for even thinking about being rude to this -- admittedly very cute -- stranger. 

Strangely enough, Harry sounds a lot like Louis’ mum in his head. 

“You alright there?” Louis asks, sure both his mum and Harry would be proud of him. Holding out a hand, he waits for the curly haired bloke to take it and drag himself up. The floor can’t be that comfortable, even less so with the tea coloured stain on the front of the guy’s neatly tucked in shirt. 

Louis only gets a curt nod as an answer as the bloke pushes himself up from the floor, completely ignoring Louis’ outstretched hand. If Louis hadn’t been so distracted by how pretty and pink the younger lad’s lips were, he would have felt silly for standing there holding his hand out. He’d been so annoyed; he’s always hated feeling stupid, being ignored like he’s not worth as much -- just because he never finished Uni or doesn’t like the typical CEO; too young and with too many tattoos, and more often skintight jeans than one of the many costumes he owns. 

There’s a reason he’s got Harry working for him. He’s brilliant at his job, but even more so, he’s able to charm the pants of anyone Louis lost his patience with, giving them the talking to that the rightly deserved, but maybe wasn’t the best for the company. 

Now he just stands there, staring wide-eyed as the bloke, who looks a bit younger than him, twisting his hands and glancing at the door right next to Louis’ office, the one that belongs to the company that Louis more than once received complaints from because of how loud their meetings were. Louis likes to call them creative, not loud; it’s not like he’d expect a label company not to play any music. It’s not really his problem at which volume his employes chooses to listen to it.

Louis knows he’s late, but suddenly it feels less urgent.

There’s something shy and innocent about the boy, something that makes Louis want to pull at the loose curls that bounce up around his head like a halo. Twist and tease until he stops looking so tense. It’s only how tight the boy holds his shoulders, that stops Louis from doing it, his hand already halfway towards the springiest curl before he manages to stop himself. 

“Sorry about your shirt, my bad,” Louis says, frowning when the boy shakes his head. The one thing on his mind is that he needs to figure out a way to get the bloke’s name, and his phone number too. “You like me to pay you back with dinner?” His voice tilts up in the end, just enough that it comes out more like a question than a suggestion. 

Sometimes he forgets that he’s not working, that he doesn’t set the rules for every person he meets, just because he’s the one that makes the final calls at work. It’s not really charming, and he really would like to charm this sweet boy.

Louis gives him a cheeky grin, wiggling his eyebrows as he waits. 

“What?” He looks like he doesn’t quite understand what Louis is asking for. Then he blushes, chin dipping as he shuffles his feet and somehow gets even stiffer, his shoulders curling in and up. “No, no,” he says, his cheeks a deep shade of pink as he nods towards the door he’d been staring so intensely at before. “I’m here to visit my boyfriend.” 

Louis would usually not go further; he’s not that into being the one to break up a relationship, but if the boy’s dating someone who works next door, he must a real fucker. It’ll never last, even now Louis can tell that this boy’s too sweet for any of the people who works in that office. 

Louis might just be able to wait it out, befriend this pretty, pretty person in the meantime. 

“Can I, at least, get your name,” Louis says, taking a small step towards the boy. “I’m Louis, just so you know.” 

“It’s Liam,” he says, voice smaller than a bloke with that kind of arms should have. He really is fit, so much that Louis finds it easy to ignore the shrill signal from his phone that’s lying forgotten on the floor. 

“Nice name for a nice boy,” Louis says, not able to not flirt just a little bit. It won’t hurt anyone. 

Liam shuffles his feet, glancing up at Louis before tilting his head forward again. “Thanks,” he mumbles with a shy little smile on his lips, now even plumper and more lovely from how he’s bitten into his bottom lip, pulling at without even being aware of it. 

More than anything, it makes Louis want to bite at it too. 

The door opening makes Louis want to kick at the mobile still ringing on the floor in annoyance. He’d just gotten Liam to smile, no matter how tiny or unsure, it felt like it mattered. 

“You fucker,” Niall says, sounding like he’s not even upset, used to Louis being late. “I could hear your bloody phone ringing from my desk.”

“I’m busy,” Louis counters, arching one eyebrow at Niall. They’ve known each other long enough, Niall should understand that Louis only needs a little bit more time. Knowing Liam’s first name doesn’t feel enough. But if he can’t get a number or the date he was aiming for, he should, at least, have a last name.

How else is Louis supposed to get in touch with him again? 

Niall laughs, shaking his head. “Busy with your meeting, you mean,” he taps a finger on his wrist, a move that might have been more effective if he’d worn a watch. “They’re all waiting for you.”

“And by _they_ you mean,” Louis trails off, trying his best to keep the grin off his face. He knows that he’s supposed to meet all of his staff today, but Niall barging in on his bump-in with Liam makes him feel like teasing him a bit. 

Crossing his arms over his chest, Niall groans and shakes his head again. “If I’d been allowed to kick you in the balls, I would have.”

“Leave my balls alone and you get a raise this Christmas,” Louis says, bending down to pick his phone up. 

Next to him, Liam stands unmoving. He so still that Louis would have been able to miss him even being there, if he’d not been so focused on how much he wants to put one more of those cute little smiles on his lips again. 

“Like you wouldn’t have anyway,” Niall huffs, taking two long steps out of the office and taking hold off the back of Louis’ loose, worn in t-shirt. 

Louis yelps when Niall pulls him towards the door, making him stumble and flail in a way that he knows can’t be attractive. 

Louis would never not give Niall a raise; he’s probably one of the best-paid assistants in the business already. Liam is blinking at him with a confused wrinkle between his bushy eyebrows as Niall bodily forces him into the office, makes him wish that he’d been able to think at least about not giving him the raise. 

“Hey,” Louis gruffs, opening the closed door as he slips out of Niall’s hold. The hall is empty. 

“Can we go to the meeting, please,” Niall says, brushing away the wrinkles his strong grip created on Louis’ t-shirt. “They’re all waiting for you.”

Louis sighs and closes the door. Hopefully, Liam won’t break up with his boyfriend before Louis can bump into him again. Only the next time not quite so literally. That’d be better.

\-- -- --

“That was a bad meeting,” Niall muses, sorting through a pile of papers on his desk. 

Louis shrugs, leaning the chair back as far as it goes. He’s got his vans on the desk, Niall stopped trying to make him not put them there more than a year back. Louis can still see him eyeing his feet, frowning slightly as he shakes his head as if he thinks that Louis is a hopeless mess. 

He sort of is. At least compared to Niall, who likes his flat, clean and neat. With sheets tucked in and not a sight of laundry piles 

Louis’ flat might be bigger than what he imagined he’d ever afford at the age of twenty-three, the whole thing shiny clean and bare when he first moved in. Now it’s a lot homier, with photos of his mum and sisters on the walls, and paintings they’ve made that his mum sends him by mail.

The colourful paintings, most of them covered in glitter make him miss his family. But he’s made a new kind of family, the employees of his company -- the one he founded when he was still in Uni, signing one of his mates with the promise that he’d make him famous. 

Louis really had no idea what he was doing, every decision he made based on what _felt_ right. Luckily, Ed’s great even without any fuss, so it was never a real problem to make him a star. His success was also what made it possible for Louis to drop out and start his business for real. 

It was hard, the first year, but with Niall and Harry and the rest of his staff, he slowly made a name for himself in the industry. 

But the piles and the tea mugs that he tends to leave all over the flat, they make Niall cluck his tongue and tell him to get a cleaner. Louis isn’t bothered, it’s not like his place is filthy, there is just stuff all over the place. 

“Does it have anything to do with the fit lad in the hall?” Niall looks like he knows the answer, just managing to stop himself from laughing at Louis. “The one you spilt tea all over?”

“Louis spilt tea on someone?” Harry asks, making Louis startle and almost fall off the chair as it wobbles dangerously. “How did I miss that, must have been a sight.” He winks at Niall, the tip of his tongue peeking out between his lips. 

They’re flirting again, but Louis not even interested in teasing them about being hopeless. But really, it’s a wonder they’re not fucking like rabbits, with the glances they give each other. 

Louis has his own -- love related -- problems right now, though. 

Liam had looked so unsure of how to react to Louis, if he should smile or not. It still bothers Louis, he wants to see Liam again.

He’s not going to deny that he wants to snog Liam, see if he can make Liam’s lovey lips even more pink.

Before that, he needs to figure out a way to find him.

“It was a sight,” Niall agrees, nodding as he moves up besides Harry. When he bumps his hip against Harry’s, he’s laughing freely, both of them are.

Sighing loudly, Louis lets his feet drop down from the desk. “I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,” he says, rolling his eyes fondly as Niall arches one eyebrow and just looks at him. “Fine, I kind of thought he was cute.”

“Maybe we should put a bell on Louis,” Harry suggest, nudging Niall with his elbow.

Niall giggles harder than the joke deserves. Louis wants someone to be so besotted by him that said person would laugh at his bad jokes; he wants that person to be Liam. 

“I hate you both so much,” Louis complains, leaning forward to rest his head on the desk. 

Harry makes a small, sad sound. He stops almost at once, and when Louis lifts his head, he can see that Niall is cuddling him, stroking his hand up and down Harry’s back. It’s a joke, they all know it, but Niall still gives Harry just what he wanted. 

Harry couldn’t have looked more smug. 

It’s not like Louis could fool anyone into thinking that he hated his mates, so Niall is being overly touchy-feely just because he wants to. 

\-- -- --

Louis has not seen Liam again and it’s been four days. 

It’s making him a tiny bit irritated; he’s spent a lot of more time than needed in the hall, checking his phone for messages just to look busy. Not once Liam’s popped by, which frankly surprises Louis; if Liam had been his boyfriend, he’d make sure that Liam always would feel welcome. Though, the office next door seems a bit dull. Louis would rather not spend time there either. 

Louis knows he’s thinking too much about Liam; he’s got all of these little theories thought up about him. There was just something about Liam that pulled him in, made him not care that it was eight am and that he’d really rather spend a few more hours in bed. 

It’s for all their sakes, not just his, that he wants Liam to be his mate. 

The only person he’s met more than once is the annoying but oh so good looking bloke from next door. That’s not made Louis’ mood any better since he’s a bigger prick than Louis on his worst day. 

“Are you waiting for Liam again?” Harry asks, leaning against the wall next to him. He’s smirking, one dimple appearing in his cheek. 

Louis doesn’t even bother replying; they both know why Louis is there. Niall had spent more time than necessary repeating why Louis was late to the meeting. It’s all very amusing to his employees, but Harry might not be the best one to tease him since he’s so gone on Niall. 

“Like you’re one to talk,” Louis says with an eye roll, when Harry keeps looking at him. 

Harry blinks innocently, shrugging one shoulder lazily. “I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“I don’t understand why you don’t just fuck or something,” Louis rants, for what he’s sure is time number ten or eleven. “We both know that you want to.”

“We might have fucked,” Harry makes air quotes as he adds, “or something. We might have done it on your desk when we had that office party two weeks ago.”

“What?” Louis asks, hopeful that Harry’s just messing with him. That is until he notices how pleased Harry looks, almost preening with it. “No.” 

He’s not sure how to deal with his staff from time to time, like right then. In a way, knowing about it kind of makes him want to go in there and force Harry and Niall to scrub his desk with the strongest stuff they’ve got. But he also wants to pat Harry’s back and congratulate him. 

It was a long time coming really. Maybe he should be glad he’s not had to witness it.

“Yes,” Harry grins, unbothered by the fact that he’s just told his boss that he had some kind of sex with his boss’ assistant. 

On his desk, for some reason Louis can’t understand.

Louis is about to give up, he’s done reading all his e-mails, something only ever happens after Niall’s told him about it over and over, and Liam’s not been there once. It’s kind of dumb of him to wait for a bloke that’s not even available. But there was something about Liam that made him want him, even if it just was as a friend. 

Just as he pushes away from the wall, the tosser from next door comes in through the door. What’s worse is that he’s holding Liam’s hand in a firm grip, both of them talking in hushed voices as they pass Louis and Harry. They don’t look very happy, but Louis is so upset by the fact that Liam’s dating him out of all people, that he can’t even try to begin thinking about that.

“No,” Louis blurts out, a sudden urge to hit his head against the wall coming over him. Both because he said it out loud, but also because Liam seems to be dating the guy that complains the most about everything Louis’ company ever does. 

Suddenly it feels like he’s got less of a problem with Liam dating someone else. Even if Liam might not be interested in dating him, he’s much better off with someone else. 

Anyone else. 

“Hi Liam,” Harry says loudly, grinning as he waves at a confused looking Liam. 

Liam’s boyfriend gives them a sour look -- Louis hates calling him Liam’s boyfriend,even in his head, much more fond of the old nickname he gave him. _Dickhead_ seems so much more fitting to Louis. He must remember to ask Niall his name, he’s always the one to remember those. 

As soon as the door closes behind Liam, Louis turns to aim a kick against the wall. “Fuck,” he groans, both because of how awful it felt and because how much he hates that Liam’s dating someone he just can’t stand. 

“It could be worse,” Harry says, patting him comfortingly on the back. “At least, you know that he’s into dicks.” He wiggles his eyebrows and makes a kind of crude hand gesture, one that makes Louis hope that Harry’s better at giving handjobs, for Niall’s sake. “And by that I mean he’s into penises.”

“Ha ha,” Louis says slowly, unable to stop himself from start laughing for real. 

“You should ask him out again, though,” Harry says, patting his shoulder once before he leans back against the wall again. He seems set on staying there, even when Louis is ready just to go home and maybe never leave his flat again; that way he wouldn’t have to think about Liam at all. 

If that would even work, Louis’ not so sure. 

“He’s got a boyfriend,” Louis huffs, holding off kicking the wall once more. He’s not an angry kid, nor is his feet made of steel. “As you’ve just seen with your own eyes.”

Harry hums, closing his eyes as he tilts his head back. Then he blinks his eyes open, his grin widening so much that Louis get a tiny bit worried, nothing good tends to come from Harry’s brilliant ideas. A lot of fun things, maybe, and a few tattoos that Louis is pretty pleased with even if they’re all drunk of their arses when getting them done. 

“He does,” Louis repeats, not sure he’s trying to talk him or Harry out of doing something stupid. “It’s like me trying to hit on Niall, or something.”

Harry frowns his forehead wrinkling. “You mean you’re going to let that lad just go.” He seems honestly upset by it, always wanting everyone around him to be in love and happy. If he wasn’t so terrible at setting people up, Louis might not have been single at twenty-three.

But he is, and Liam isn’t. 

Louis honestly has no great plan of how to win Liam over to his side, but he knows that he, at least, needs to get him on his own to make Liam like him. Just enough for him to maybe agree on doing something just the two of them. 

Though, it doesn’t even have to be just the two of them. He’s happy with bloody anything at this point.

“Just cause you’re finally fucking getting some from the lad you like, doesn’t mean everybody will get that chance,” Louis says, temporarily distracted by his own thoughts.

“I’d be pretty bummed if Niall would give everybody a chance,” Harry grins, almost tripping over his own feet as he moves out of the way as Louis tries to smack him. “I mean, one of two people, then I think he’d have no energy for me.” 

“It’s lucky Liam isn’t here right now,” Louis says, kind of wishing that he was. “How am I going to convince him to be my mate, when you lot are so weird.”

“That’s the plan?” Harry asks, clapping his hands together once. It does kind of prove Louis’ point, since it’s a very strange way to show that he agrees with Louis.

Louis thinks that’s what Harry means, at least. 

“Not much of a plan,” Louis shrugs, pushing his mobile into the front pocket on his skin tight black jeans. 

They’ve both spent too much time in the hallway; they’ve actual work to do, both of them. Soon Niall will come looking for them, which might be just what Harry’s after. He tends to get a bit pouty when Niall doesn’t have time for him, shooing him away with a smile on his lips when Harry tries to make him stop working. 

Louis kind of got what he was after, he did get to see Liam again, but he’s still not pleased. He’s got to make sure actually to get to talk to Liam the next time. 

He really hopes there will be a next time. It might not be the best idea to go to Liam’s boyfriend and ask for his number; that be strange and a bit suspicious. 

\-- -- --

After spending a few hours in the hall, with his computer and his headphones plugged in, Louis is half asleep. All of his employees are teasing him about Liam now, and the rest of the people in the building give him strange looks as they pass him.

Maybe he should think about stop doing the greater part of his time at the office on the floor outside his actual office. But now that he’s started, it seems like a dumb idea to give up.

If he does, Liam is bound to walk straight past his office without Louis ever knowing about it. He can’t have that. 

Closing his eyes once more, this time allowing himself to rest against the hard surface of the wall, he sighs and closes his laptop. At least, the tune in his headphones is amazing, the voice of their next potential hit clear and strong as he hits the high notes.

Louis finds it strange that the bloke is not yet famous, but he’s grateful that his company might be the one to sign with him. Singing along softly, he winces when he forgets about holding back and belts out one of the higher notes. He’s not trained as the singer in his headphones must be, but he’s got a good range. 

Then someone’s clearing their throat over him, and he stops singing abruptly. The song is about to end anyway. When he opens his eyes the first thing he notices are the worn and slightly dirty converse, just in front of him. When he lifts his eyes, Liam is looking sheepish as he smiles shyly at Louis. 

Louis’ cheeks feel hot, he’s blushing which rarely happens. He still can’t stop himself from letting his eyes travel up and down Liam’s body again; the converse so out of place on him when the rest of his clothes are neat and clean, a checkered shirt buttoned all the way up.

Even then he’s so cute, the pinkness on his cheeks making Louis think that he’s not the only one blushing. Liam’s not even been caught singing in the hall. 

“Just wanted to say that it’s great,” Liam smiles carefully, shuffling his feet like he’s got a hard time staying still. “Whatever you just sang.”

Louis shakes his head, used to hearing singers with far better range than himself. What he’s best at, it’s other things. Not singing. 

Liam pouts, looking upset that Louis doesn’t agree with him. “No really,” he mumbles, taking one step towards Louis. Then he stops, twisting his body around as if he’s about to leave. “I didn’t mean to bother you, though. I’m sure you’ve plenty of more important things to do.”

Louis’ stomach feels tight, hearing how much Liam seems to mean those words. He’s got nothing that’s more important than finally having a chance to talk to Liam. “No, no,” he rushes to say, patting the spot next to himself, hoping that Liam might sit down so he could have him listen to how well Zayn sings it. “Come here and have a listen, mate. This bloke will blow your mind.”

“I don’t know,” Liam says, scratching the back of his neck as he almost sways back and forth on the spot. “I’m already late, that’s never a good thing.”

“Fine,” Louis sighs, pouting shamelessly in a try to get Liam to change his mind. “Leave me here to be bored and all alone.”

Liam snorts out a laugh, immediately putting a hand over his mouth, silencing himself. Louis has never been prouder of himself; it feels like the greatest achievement, even if it’s just a second it lasts. 

Just as Liam’s about to turn away from him, he gets an idea. “Wait,” he says, louder than he meant to. “You should come along and bowl, this Friday.” It’s a bit too much like a date, he quickly realises when Liam tenses up and looks so much more uncomfortable all of a sudden. When Liam opens his mouth, probably to tell Louis that he does have a boyfriend, he hastily adds, “It’s not just you and me, of course.”

“It’s not?” Liam asks, some of the stiffness in his shoulders disappearing. 

Louis laughs, trying to look innocent as he points towards his own door with his thumb. “You know the curly haired bloke from the other day,” he waits for Liam to nod, and then he adds, “I kind of needs someone to beat him and his boyfriend. He might be a flop but he’s kind of good at bowling.”

It’s a near thing, but he manages to stop himself from praising Liam’s arms, mentioning how much he’d like to see them flex. That would have ruined his chances to convince Liam that it’s _not_ a date.

It really isn’t anyway, he just kind of want to snog Liam until he also wants it to be one. 

“I don’t know,” Liam says, curling and uncurling his fists, seemingly to be unable to figure out what to say. “It might not be a good idea.”

Louis’ knees protest as he gets up from the floor, sitting cross-legged for more than an hour should obviously not be done after the age of kindergarten. “Think about it,” he says, voice light; as if he wasn’t nervous about Liam saying no. “Just a few mates, a few beers and some bloody awesome bowling skills.” He flexes his arm, giving himself a mental high five that he picked one of his loose tank tops; more so when he notices that Liam flushes even harder, his cheeks a pretty pink colour that makes Louis want to poke him. 

Louis’ impulse control isn’t all that good, so before he can think about it, he lets his hand dart towards Liam’s face. It’s nothing he shouldn’t have done, if it’d been Niall there next to him, so he’s not really prepared for Liam’s small smile dropping from his face.

Liam pulls away, just before he touches him, but he nods. 

“I’ll come over before then, yeah?” He waits for Louis to nod once, confused speechless by Liam’s behaviour. “I’m just going to go now, I think.”

Louis nods again, staring at the spot where Liam just was, long after he’s gone to see his boyfriend. 

\-- -- --

Louis didn’t expect Liam to show up the time they agreed on when they once again bumped into each other in the hall. Louis hasn’t been able to stop smiling since then, nerves making all of him feel a bit shaky. 

Not sure what to do when Liam walks towards him, dressed in the same red and black checkered shirt but a pair of black jeans instead of the stiff looking chinos Louis is used to see him in. His lips look pink and plush as they curve into a small smile, making Louis feel like kissing him more than ever,

Instead, he reaches out and ruffles Liam’s hair, tugging at a loose curl. Liam just blinks at him, mouth open as if he’s trying to find words. 

“Long time no see,” Louis grins, pleased that Liam didn’t pull away this time. He feels like running a victory lap around the building, a feeling he knows is too strong since it’s such a small thing. 

It can’t be as big as it feels to him at that moment. 

Liam shakes his head, his smile making his eyes squeeze together to tiny half moons. Louis wants to reach out and poke where Liam’s cheeks dimple. This time he holds back, knowing that if he follows every urge telling him to touch Liam, he’ll try to kiss him before the night has ended. 

That won’t work so great with his plan to make Liam his new mate. Liam would probably not want to see him again, so he’s got to make sure to sit on his hands in case he feels like he can’t hold back. 

“It was just a few hours ago,” Liam says, sounding unsure if it’s the right thing to say. 

Louis laughs, not able to stop himself from pulling at the curl that’s sticking out from Liam’s fringe. Just to see that confused yet affronted look on Liam’s face, just for a second. Then giggles and slaps Louis’ hand away.

“Well,” Louis teases, “that is a few hours too many.” It’s a bit too much like flirting he quickly realises; Liam giggles, the blush on his cheeks a bright pink. 

Luckily none of his friends has proper boundaries, so Liam might not even notice that Louis at times might fall face first over the lines he’s told himself not to cross with Liam. Not yet. 

He’d been waiting for Liam outside, early like he never really is. Soon they’re joined by Niall and Harry, hand in hand. 

Harry and Niall both give him a look as he ushers Liam inside the building; it’s probably meant to mean something, but Louis rolls his eyes at them. They just laugh at him, seemingly forgetting that it took ages for them to sort out their own love lives.

Louis must remember to tell them that when they come to him for advice on his. 

It’s still a bit like a date, even when he told Liam that it wasn’t like that at all. The difference is that it’s a double date more than anything. Harry and Niall seem to think the same thing, since they make kissy faces -- or in Harry’s case, he’s miming blowjobs -- every time it’s Liam’s turn to pick up the bowling ball. 

Maybe Louis should have asked someone else along; it would have been less like a date when the two other people weren’t actually dating each other. He should have made sure to make it an uneven number, but then again, Liam seems to like both Harry and Niall.

Louis worries too much; Liam not even aware of anything that goes on inside of Louis’ head, what makes him laugh too loudly when Liam tells a timid, dry joke. Or why Louis covers his face with his hands when Liam giggles so hard he leans into Louis’ side the time Harry tells a joke about balls, predictably. 

“It wasn’t even funny,” Louis groans, peeking out between his fingers just to see Liam smiles at Harry. 

“It kind of was,” Liam says kindly. “I’ve never heard that one before.”

Louis just manages not to say the thing on his mind, that Liam maybe shouldn’t have such a drag of a boyfriend. Instead, he snorts and shakes his head. “Niall’s just going to agree with it being funny since he likes handling Harry’s balls.”

“Louis,” Liam scolds, sounding both scandalised and amused at once. He tenses up when his phone vibrates in his pocket, once again. The sound is off, but it’s noticeable anyway. Liam still does nothing, looking at them with eyes pleading to pretend as if nothing's happened. 

“You sure you don’t want to take it?” Niall wonders. Liam only shakes his head. 

“It’s nothing,” he mumbles, taking a sip of his coke. “I’m sure it’s just my mum trying to get me to come home next weekend.” It sounds like a lie, Liam’s eyes not quite meeting his. 

Louis isn’t sure, though. Liam’s so new to him; he wants to ask, get to know every little detail about Liam, but that would be nosy and probably rude. His own mum wouldn’t be very happy with him. 

“You should go home to see your mum,” Harry says, just as Louis is about to ask Liam what he’s not saying. It’s not as he’s ever been very good at holding back, which Harry knows very well too. “I’m sure she’s a nice lady.”

“She is,” Liam stresses, sitting up a little straighter. Louis immediately misses Liam’s warm body against his, the booth small enough for them to have to sit close together, but not quite so much. “She’s really nice; it’s just -- “ he trails off, pressing his lips together. 

“You don’t have to tell us,” Niall says, soothingly. 

Liam shrugs, slumping back again; he keeps his distance from Louis, shuffling away as far as he can go. “It’s nothing.”

Louis can’t figure out what’s so horrible about his mum that Liam doesn’t want to tell. Louis is happy to talk about his family for hours, if anyone’s willing to listen. 

“We all miss our mums,” Harry mumbles, nodding as if he agrees with himself. Louis is not quite sure that’s the reason Liam lost that happy shine, why he shrunk into himself again. 

Niall nods, patting Harry’s cheek once before he turns to smile at Liam. He gets a small, tense smile back, which seems to dim his own a bit. Niall mostly seems confused, not used to people reacting that way to his sunny easiness. 

“I think I need to go,” Liam mumbles, giving Louis a begging look. At first, Lous doesn’t catch on to that Liam wants him to move, that he’s in the way. 

“What?” Louis wonders out loud, talking more to himself than Liam. He’s pretty sure he’s not done something wrong, and both Harry and Niall have been on their best behaviour. He thought everything was going great. 

“I just remember,” Liam pauses, flicking his eyes towards his lap, the phone in his pocket once again buzzing. “That I’d something to do.”

Louis is too shocked to do anything except move. It’s first when Liam’s gone that he realises that he maybe should have asked what he did wrong.

Harry and Niall seem as confused, both of them staring at Louis as if he’s got answers. 

“Fuck if I know,” Louis says, making them both frown. 

“It was nice, though,” Harry offers. “He’s nice.”

It was _nice_ as long as it lasted, so Louis nods. He needs to make sure to invite Liam out again, and be his best self to convince him to stay the next time. 

The rest of the night, he feels like the third wheel even when Niall and Harry are trying to make him apart of it.

\-- -- --

Louis is late. Much like he so often is on the days he tries the hardest _not_ to be. It’s a Monday morning; just that is enough to make it extra horrible to leave his warm, cosy bed. Then there’s the fact that it’s autumn, that it’s getting colder and wetter outside. 

Niall smiles at him when he passes his desk, bigger than Louis thinks anyone should smile that time of day. 

When he darts into his office, tea skimping out of the lid, he comes to a sudden stop. There, right in front of him, is Liam; sweet and soft looking as he sits in the visitor’s chair that Harry spends more time in than actual visitors. 

Louis did not expect to see him anytime soon. He thought he’d have to wait in the hall, in a try to bump into him randomly again. No matter how much it makes Niall laugh at him, with the raised eyebrows and pointed jokes, if he says that it’s not the reason he’s more or less has moved his office into the hall. 

Liam raises his hand in an awkward wave, smiling shyly. “Hi.” His voice always takes Louis by surprise; it’s deeper than he’d have thought a boy who looks so careful would have. 

“Hi,” Louis says slowly, clearing his throat when his voice cracks; he’s not talked to anyone yet that day, his voice sleepy and rough still. Looking at the tea in his hand, the one he so badly needs to wake up but hasn’t had time to start in on yet, he makes a quick decision. 

Liam just stares at the cup, when Louis pushes it into his hand, eyes flicking between it and Louis. He’s chewing his bottom lip, making it impossible even pinker and fuller. Louis stomach’ feels warm, his whole body does. 

“You should have it,” Louis explains, picking up one of the papers Niall’s left right there on his desk. Glancing over at Liam, sneaky like he was when playing hide and seek with his mates, he sees that Liam takes a small sip. 

The pleased little hum Liam lets out is worth the fact that he no longer has his morning tea.

Liam drinks his tea in silence; Louis does his best to work like he should do if Liam weren't there, but he’s distracted, fidgety, always moving around. Every time he waits a moment between the sips, he gets more and more obvious with that he’s looking at Louis.

The next time Louis catches Liam staring, he grins sharply. “You sure you don’t want something besides the tea?” 

Liam tilts his head down, the curls making it hard for Louis to see his face, Louis is pretty sure he’s blushing, though. 

“The company is pretty good here,” he teases, liking the pink colour he can see spread more and more.

“Niall’s pretty nice,” Liam says, shoulders shaking slightly as he laughs. “And Harry too, of course.”

“That’s _not_ nice of you to say. I’m also nice, you silly boy” Louis grins, picking up a pen from his table and tossing it at a Liam. It doesn’t hit him, it’s not even meant to, but Liam gets so stiff, so suddenly. 

“No,” Liam agrees, nodding three times in a quick row. “You’re right.”

“What?” Louis asks, shaking his head. “No, I’m not bloody right about anything.” He snorts out a short laugh. “Just ask Niall, without him, I’d been lost.”

“That can’t be right,” Liam says stubbornly, his bottom lip pushed out in a pout that makes it hard for Louis not to agree. “You’ve all of this.” He waves his hand, not really pointing at anything; but Louis thinks he must mean the office, the company, everything else that Louis actually can call his. 

“It’s not like it’s all me.” Louis wouldn’t have been able to do it without Niall and Harry, the rest of his employees making it easy for him. “Not that I think you’re here to talk about me, so,” he shrugs, waiting for Liam to continue with an explanation. 

Liam’s fingers twitch on the empty tea mug, pressing it together as he takes a deep breath. “I just wanted to say sorry,” he says, smiling sheepishly. 

“Sorry?” Louis wonders, confused to why Liam would think he needed to apologise. “I’m not mad at you, so why would you say sorry?”

Louis wouldn’t have given away his tea to someone he’s pissed at, something he’ll make sure to tell Liam when he’s not so confused. It feels like Liam should know, just so he doesn’t have to worry.

“You’re not?” Liam looks just as confused as Louis feels. “You should be,” he presses, voice even and sure; like he’s decided on something. “I kind of ruined your night.”

Louis frowns, shaking his head the whole time Liam talks. He feels like interrupting, but chooses not to. That way he might be able to understand the way Liam acts better, see if he can find some kind of clue to who Liam is. One minute he seems so much like the person Louis imagines, then seconds later he’s drawn in and unsure.

Now he’s somewhere in the middle, stubborn but still not quite looking Louis in the eyes. 

“You didn’t,” says Louis; it wasn’t the same without Liam, but still. “But,” he pauses, using his feet to push his rolling chair around the desk; it’s hard to talk the same time, tongue peeking out between his lips as he concentrates. “Without you there, I’d to deal with the lovebirds on my own. You’ve to make it up to me.” He does his best to keep his tone light, teasing. 

Liam wiggles his feet, toes visible curling and uncurling as he peeks at Louis under his fringe. “I don’t know what to do to make it up to you,” he says, worrying his lip with his teeth. “I’m not that interesting, I think.”

Louis huffs, darting out to tug at that one curl it seems like he can’t keep his fingers away from. Laughing loudly, he ignores Liam’s squeaked protest and the hands that try to defend springy curls. No matter what, Liam’s smiling, which gets to Louis more than he’d like to admit out loud. Or in his own head. 

“You’re interesting, I’d bet money on it.” He sounds stern, more so than he does in meetings. He’s angry, but not at Liam. Luckily, it seems like Liam gets it, he smiles softly as he tries to get his hair under control again.

Louis won’t have that. He’s going to make sure to mess the carefully styled curled up as soon as he can, as soon as Liam gives him a reason. 

“Just come by when you’re visiting your boyfriend,” he says, hoping his face stays passive as he says the word _boyfriend_. He’s not sure he succeeds, but Liam nods and smiles once more. 

As Liam’s about to leave, the empty tea mug still in his hand, he takes a step towards Louis. Then he takes one back, so fast he almost stumbles over the chair he just sat in. Louis just blinks at him, halfway out of his chair to hug Liam goodbye, but Liam’s gone before he can do anything else.

Louis is so confused by how wonderful Liam is when he’s smiling. But at the same time, how wrong he seems to be, stiff and uncomfortable in his skin, when he’s really so very lovely.

He can only hope that Liam will come back. It’s a bit too much of him, staking the hall out once more, just to see him. 

 

\-- -- --

Liam comes back; it seems like a surprise to them both, Liam waiting for him outside the door with a small smile, but then not going inside until Louis touches him, gently pushing him in the right direction. 

“One would think you didn’t know what office I work in,” Louis teases, feeling all warm when Liam lets out a small laugh. 

Liam’s tense under his hand, but doesn’t pull away. Louis can feel Liam’s muscles move under his shirt, causing him to wonder how Liam would look without it, feel the dip in his back, warm and soft under his fingers. 

The only one who’s not acting like Liam being there is a thing is Niall, smiling from behind his desk as Louis usher Liam into his room. Harry’s worse, staring out from his own office, so indiscreet that Louis rolls his eyes and flips him off. 

Louis can feel the eyes of the rest of his employees on him too; he makes a mental note to have a special meeting about them minding their own business. Or at least, be a bit less obvious about it when Liam’s there.

He doesn’t really care what they say about him, but Liam, he doesn’t want them to scare him away.

“I still don’t know what I do here,” Liam mumbles as he drops down in the chair, legs stretching out as he leans back. 

“You can entertain me while I work,” Louis decides, making a mental note to himself to buy two teas the next day, just in case Liam comes by. Now he’ll have to make do without it since he can’t not give it to Liam. 

Liam grins, so big that Louis stops and stares, not realising that he’s just looking, not saying anything. Liam’s so quiet and still, blushing pink as he stares at the cup, seemingly as shocked about the small gift as the first time. 

“You don’t work anyway, you lazy arse,” Niall says from the door, causing Louis to startle and almost fall over. It makes Niall cackle loudly and wiggles his eyebrows excessively. Liam looks amused, twisting around so he can grin openly at Niall, so much that Louis feels fiercely jealous. The need to have Liam’s attention on him, making him forget about being careful around Liam. 

“Hey,” he says, poking a finger into Liam’s puffed out cheek. “Don’t forget our deal.” 

Niall leans against Harry, who’s stopped working -- if he even did that, Louis does know about the time he spends not working, while at work -- to go see what Niall’s now smaller giggles were about. 

“He’s not even said yes yet,” Niall points out, his voice shaking and his face red as a tomato. 

“Have you asked him to marry you already?” Harry drawls, smacking a kiss on Niall’s cheek when he starts laughing harder again. Liam just gapes at them, opening his mouth to protest, but then darting a look towards Louis. 

“Not yet, no”, Louis grins, since long used to Harry’s humour. 

“I’d be okay with it, though,” Liam says, pausing as he realises that he basically agrees to marry Louis. The blush on his cheeks is deeper pink than ever, making Louis wonder how far down the flush goes. If he’s pink down his chest and stomach, how hot that skin would be under his fingers. “I didn’t mean,” he pauses, looking a bit like he just wants to hide under Louis’ desk. 

“I’m sure your mum would be very happy if you’d marry Louis,” Harry says, the tone of his voice giving nothing away. “He’s a nice boy.” Niall snorts out a loud laugh against Harry’s neck.

“Louis is not a nice boy.” Niall grins, winking at Liam. “I’d not bring him home.” His eyes widen and he goes to hide behind Harry’s bigger frame as Louis tries to catch him. 

Louis stumbles over Harry’s feet, trying to find his balance but then giving up. It’s a close thing he drags Harry down with him, he sways dangerously on his feet. Instead, he manages to pull Niall down with him, their limbs in a heap, elbows everywhere as Louis tries to get the upper hand. 

Somewhere behind him, Louis can hear Liam giggle, the sound so much quieter than Harry’s vibrant laugh. It still makes Louis pause and almost lose his grip on Niall’s arms. 

“It’s just the way they are,” Harry mumbles, sounding fond. Taking a big step, he walks over to Liam and sits down on the edge of the desk.

“Mums like me,” Louis says, feeling victorious but breathless. Niall’s hair stands on all ends, he’s probably not much better off, but Niall’s on the floor. 

He’s still trying to catch his breath, arms around his stomach. 

“It’s not like you should say anything, Niall,” Liam says, winking with both his eyes; it’s probably meant to be something else, something a bit more like what Harry gave him before, but the way Liam squeezes both his eyes together hard, it makes Louis want to see him to it again. “You’re dating Harry.”

Louis can’t remember the last time he laughed harder, Harry’s affronted look as he frown at Liam so amusing that he misses when Niall tackles him to the ground. 

The smile on Liam’s face, it feels like it’s just for him -- even when it’s not just them there -- and it makes the rug burn on his elbows, the pinkish marks from Niall’s nails, feel like a small price to pay. 

 

\-- -- --

It’s been weeks since he first met Liam; he’d consider them mates, which is what he’s been telling himself is what he wanted, finding an out that Liam was in a relationship.

So far, he’s not once said a word to Liam’s boyfriend Max. There have been the odd times he meets them in the hall, holding hands like Louis wishes they didn’t. 

That time Liam was curled against Max’s side, it was worse. Liam looked so at home there, smaller and softer than his boyfriend. 

Liam barely says hi to him those times; he’s always so very apologetic about it the next time he visits Louis at work, but Louis just smiles like it doesn’t bother him at all. 

It does bother him. 

It’s not like Louis is in an open feud with Max, but Louis guesses that Liam still feels bad for befriending someone his boyfriend doesn’t like. He understands why Liam avoids his questions, opting to change the subject. 

Even if he considers them to be mates, it’s not quite the same. He doesn’t get impulses to kiss his other mates, not unless he’s very drunk and nostalgic. But that’s not the way he wants to kiss Liam. He wants to kiss Liam until he’s pliant and soft underneath him, or until he’s panting into Louis’ mouth, giving back as hard as he gets. 

Louis is a bit drunk, but not enough that he wouldn't be able to walk a straight line if needed.

The text he sent to Liam hasn’t been answered. 

It’s a Saturday night, Louis drinking his cold beer with his feet on the coffee table with the telly on. Not that he cares about what’s on. It’s the phone in his hand that has all of his attention. He wonders if he was too flirtatious. If the reason Liam’s not answering is that he cares more about what his boyfriends wants from him. Something Louis reasons with himself isn’t strange _if_ Liam does.

Liam always answers, is the thing, texts with too many letters, often in the wrong order. So very happy and interested, no matter what small thing Louis texts him about. 

It’s selfish but he wants all of Liam’s attention. 

Two hours later, he’s had a couple of more beers, and he knows a lot more about Niall’s and Harry’s sex life. Their drunk texts making him both laugh and want to hide his face in the pillow as if that would make him forget. 

Liam’s not answered his text, though. 

Liam’s away on a -- in the middle of the week -- weekend. Louis has tried to pretend that it's got nothing to do with his sulky mood. That he doesn’t miss him something awful.

He didn’t fool Niall, who hugged him the first thing he came it through the door. Louis knows he shouldn’t have to need Niall’s warm, familiar hugs to deal with Liam being away, but he misses him. He’s gotten used to finding Liam in the chair Louis now insists is his, that he’d have to take it with him if he goes, bored with Louis. 

Sometimes after midnight, he gives up on Liam answering. 

\-- -- --

Sadly, he can’t just spend the day with his headphone on. It’s bad luck that just the day he wants that more than anything to mope in peace, he’s got a meeting booked with one of the names they hope will be their new star.

It's one of Nick's latest findings, which causes Louis great pain to admit. He likes it when Nick is amazing at his job, but he also likes the _fight_ he’s got going with him. It’s harder to find a reason to poke fun at him when Nick is the one who’s made sure that their company is successful. Nick never seems to have a problem finding his weakness, even if they’re small and embarrassing -- like his crush on Liam. 

And he’s not alone when it comes to knowing about him having a thing for Liam; Louis thinks everybody who’s been in the same building as him when Liam’s close to him knows. The only one who doesn’t know must be Liam himself. 

Zayn deserves more attention than Louis gives him; he deserves more than Louis would be able to give him on a good day, it feels like. His homemade videos got a great deal of hits, many comments, but this is the time for him to take the big step.

It was his song Liam heard bits of the first time they spoke, and that only gives Louis more reason to like it.

“So,” Louis says, pushing the chair backwards. The deal is signed by them both now, and Zayn’s grin is so big, nose scrunched up, it’s impossible for Louis not to be affected. He smiles and walks around to open the door. “Welcome, once again. I’m sure you’re just what we’re looking for.”

Zayn’s so stunning, one side of his head shaved and his long fringe falling forward as he reaches out to shakes Louis’ hand. Again. “Thank you so much, love.” He blinks rapidly when he realises that he called Louis _love_ , which makes Louis laugh and shake his head. 

Zayn lets out a shaky breath, smiling bigger and bigger as he seems to realise that he didn’t offend Louis. 

Everything about Zayn’s pretty, Louis realises, knowing that the masses will love him. Not only for the high notes he takes, the raspiness in his voice, but also because he’s impossible not to fall in some sort of love with. If he’d not already had his mind set on someone, no matter how hard he tried to keep his mind from going there, he’s sure he’d been distracted by how ridiculous high Zayn’s cheekbones were. 

When he guides a still bubbling happy Zayn out of the office, he notices Harry and Niall staring. Both of them stock still behind Niall’s desk. Harry’s not supposed to be there; Louis has given up on trying to understand how Harry always gets his work done, but still spends half of his time at work by Niall’s desk. 

Niall’s got his hand raised, fingers just above the keyboard. It’s like he’s forgotten about them, eyes wide and shining with open interest. They look at Zayn, then at each other, heads tilted and eyebrows moving as if they’ve their own silent conversation

“Yeah,” Louis says, stopping with Zayn in front of them. He’s supposed to introduce Zayn, but he snorts when he looks at them; they’re so indiscreet, eyeing Zayn like he’s halfway to their bed already. 

Maybe he is, Zayn’s blushing, but he gives them both an open smile, lifting his hand in a half-wave. “So, I’m Zayn. If you didn’t know?”

“Oh,” Niall murmurs, winking cheekily. “We do know about you, mate.” 

“Hi,” Harry says, giving Zayn a blinding grin, eyes sparkling. He’s got one hand on Niall’s shoulder, squeezing gently as he nods -- even that seeming like the most open invitation -- at Zayn. 

Louis laughs, feeling confident that he can leave Zayn there. As he leaves, now able to put those headphones in his ears and ignore everything around him, he hears them talk. It sounds like Niall and Harry are falling over each other, both of them eager to make Zayn laugh.

Zayn seems pleased about the attention, mumbling out answers that Louis can’t hear.

\-- -- --

Most of the time, it’s just the two of them, going on small adventures in the city-- Louis calls them non-dates in his head, mostly to keep his own heart in check. Finding out that Liam’s lived in London, with his boyfriend the whole time, since he was sixteen, he’s baffled that Liam’s not seen or done more. 

So many things are new to him, his eyes shining with delight when Louis opens the door to the small comic book store that’s one of his own favourite places in the city. 

If he spoils Liam a little bit extra, like the time he insisted on paying the fee for the bikes they rented, then it’s just because Liam deserves it. Liam keeps insisting, just as stubbornly, that he should pay for himself. From time to time, Louis get to pay for Liam, the same time as Liam pays for him, so it’s really unnecessary, the whole thing. 

Liam’s deep in a comic, the brightly coloured pages looking like something out of a Batman when he glances over Liam’s shoulder. It’s easy to tell when Liam really likes something, his smile widening, fingers careful as he turns the pages. 

“You like that one too,” Louis jokes, nudging him with his elbow when Liam just hums. “You’d have to work double shifts, with how many of them you want.” He’s got no intention of letting Liam pay for any of them, but he can at least pretend. 

If Louis had not watched Liam so closely already, he’d not noticed how Liam’s fingers curl harder on the pages of the comic, making them wrinkle. 

“I don’t really have a paycheck,” Liam mumbles, smiling wryly as he shrugs. Looking uneasy, he puts the comic back in the stand, curling his hands together into fists before he lets them drop to his sides. 

Louis can visibly see him relax, but it looks forced, nothing like he does when he sits on Louis’ desk, swinging his legs back and forth. 

Louis never really thought about what Liam did when he wasn’t with Louis at the office, or if Louis was busy, with Niall or Harry. Now he feels stupid, his brain thinking back to times when he should have asked. There are so many things he’s got no clue about when it comes to Liam, outside of the happy bubble that’s Louis’ office. 

“You don’t?” Louis asks, himself having worked since before Uni. It’s hard for him to think about Liam doing nothing all day, how fidgety and bored he must be. He notices how hard Liam’s got to be still, even now he’s moving restlessly. 

Shrugging with his hands in his fists, Liam avoids looking at him as he says, “I’m not the best when it comes to school stuff.”

Louis huffs, not liking it one bit when Liam says he’s not good at something. It makes him want to protest, so he crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head. “I’m sure you’re good at something. Or that you, at least, find something fun. Interesting, or something,” he says gently, sounding a lot like his own mum when she tried to convince him about school, he realises. “There is stuff you could do that don’t mean Uni, too.”

“Well,” Liam says, slowly as if he’s trying to think of a good reason. One that’ll make Louis happy. “I had this childhood dream about being a firefighter, but that’s dangerous. Not for me.” It sounds like somebody else’s words, like Liam’s repeating it out loud. 

Louis’ mind blanks, just thinking about Liam dressed as a firefighter enough to make him a bit slow. Then he frowns, once again shaking his head, only, this time, more fiercely. “What the bloody hell,” he mumbles angrily, “did your mum tell you that or something. I’m sure you’d be a lovely firefighter.”

“Maybe,” Liam agrees, taking one hand from his pocket and running it through his hair. His smile seems genuine like he’s thinking about it for real, so Louis lets himself relax. 

He’s still ready to fight anyone who makes Liam think he’s not good enough. 

“Good,” Louis says, smiling as he ruffles Liam’s hair; he can’t resist, it’s never messy enough according to him. But it’s mostly just a reason for him to touch Liam, any way he can. 

“It’s not my mum, though,” Liam mumbles, taking up the same comic that he’s wrinkled. “She’d have nothing against that.”

Louis likes Liam’s mum a little bit better suddenly, feeling sorry for the things he thought about her, even for a short time. Then he twists to Liam, muttering out, “Tell me who’s a dick to you, I’ll give them a visit.”

It’s a joke, mostly. He’s not particularly big, but he’s scrappy. And he’s sure that Niall and Harry would help hold down whoever it is that convinced Liam he’s not enough. 

“It’s just Max,” says Liam, staring intently at the same page in the comic. “He just wants me to be safe.”

He should want you to be happy, Louis thinks, but he chooses to stay silent. It’s not his business; he’ll do his best to make Liam know what he feels for him, wants for him -- with some small things kept to himself, like the flutters he gets in his stomach when Liam smiles softly, just for him. 

Louis ends up buying Liam every comic that put that one certain smile on his lips. For once, Liam doesn’t even protest. 

\-- -- --

The next day, Louis got this idea that he maybe should offer Liam an internship. He’s already got an amazing assistant. Even though Niall’s a bit more up in the blue than usual, marking his spreadsheet with colours that don’t fit his system, shrugging it off with a smile when he notices. Louis thinks it might have to do with that Zayn’s spending time there, more often than he needs to. 

Really, he’s locked down his contract; but every second he’s not at the studio, he’s right there in the office, leaning his hip against Harry’s doorframe or talking to Niall in a flirtatious tone.

Louis is not sure sure who’s trying to seduce who, or if they all already have a thing going on. He sure hopes that he doesn’t have to walk in on them, doing things on his desk nobody should do. Well, nobody but him, at least. 

Walking past Niall, he sees that Niall’s got a stupid smile on his lips, cheeks tinted pink. That could either mean that Harry’s been there, doing gods know what, or that Zayn’s been there uncharacteristically early. He quickly realised that Zayn liked his sleep, Zayn telling him to fuck off one morning when he called too early, but he maybe the warmness of his bed couldn’t keep him from seeing his two new mates. 

Or whatever it is he’s doing with them. 

He’s even stopped looking sheepish when Louis raises his eyebrows at him, only smiles and nods as if he’s not trying to woo two blokes at once, both of them in a relationship. It’s a bit unconventional, but Louis is more than fine with it, as long as Harry won’t tell him one too many details about Zayn, too. 

When he stumbles into his own office, cursing under his breath as he bumps his hip painfully against the doorframe. It’s not the first time, probably not the last, even when he thinks he should be able to learn to avoid it. He’s a successful CEO, not without a lot of hard work, but he’s made it at a young age, which wasn’t easy. There were many long nights spent sleepless before he figured it out, and then a lot more after

It shouldn’t be so hard to walk in a straight line; he’s tired of the bruises on his hips, it’s not the fun kind of marks to have. If he’d marks from Liam’s fingers at the same spot, just over his hipbones, he’d not mind. 

Liam’s in sitting on his desk, bum planted on the edge as he nods along to whatever it is that Zayn’s saying in a hushed voice. Louis freezes, not sure if he’s interrupting even if it’s his desk. Louis did not expect Zayn to be there with Liam; he’s noticed them talking before, how Liam didn’t seem to mind when Zayn touches him -- that he doesn’t get tense, like he still sometimes does when Louis slaps his back or pokes a finger into his side, trying to tease a laugh out of him.

He knows he shouldn’t be jealous; Zayn’s most likely there to woo Harry, Niall, or both, but he still he feels a strong pull to know, what they’re talking about. What it could be that puts that shy smile of Liam’s lips, the wonderful blush of his cheeks; so pink and vibrant that Louis wants to pinch him, ruffle his hair. 

Anything to stop himself from kissing Liam. 

Then Liam notices him, but instead of giving Louis that slightly awkward wave he does every morning, he gives Zayn a pleading look and shakes his head. Zayn frowns, glancing towards Louis. He looks as confused as Louis feels, but he shouldn’t be. He knows whatever it is that Liam doesn’t want him to know about.

Zayn winces when Liam shuffles away from him, almost curling in on himself the same time. He looks like he wants to say something. 

“It’s _nothing_ ,” Liam says, putting so much emphasis on the last word that Louis almost believes him. 

If he’d not seen they way Liam acted, reminding Louis about the first time they met with how unsure he looks. 

“It’s not nothing,” Zayn mumbles, moving after Liam so he can put an arm around his back. When Liam doesn’t move away, he puts his head on Liam’s shoulder, murmuring soft words that are too low for Louis to hear. The jealousy is still there, making him want to slap Zayn’s hands away as they curl around Liam’s hip, but it’s so easy to tell that Zayn makes Liam feel better, so he just stands there. 

He’d never do it anyway, but he might try to get Liam’s attention, pulling every trick he’s got to make it happen. Mostly it’s him playing, teasing and poking at Liam until he softens and smiles. 

“Fine,” Liam sighs, slumping against Zayn’s side. “I might as well. It’s not like it’s a big deal or anything.”

It feels like a big deal to Louis, whatever it is that makes Liam seems so anxious, must be. Still, he just waits, wanting more than anything to cuddle close to Liam’s other side. He’s not sure it’d make Liam feel better, though, so he holds off, even going so far that he puts his hands in his pockets to stop himself from reaching out. 

“It can’t be worse than Harry admitting to having fucked Niall on that very desk,” he says, sitting down on the desk next to Liam. A little bit too close, but not close enough to press their thighs together like he really wants to. Liam laughs, probably thinking that he’s joking. When Louis just waits him out, his mouth drops open, forming the prettiest shape as he lets out a tiny _oh_. 

Zayn looks thoughtful; a bit lost in his own head, but then he pats Liam back and pushes himself up from the desk. 

“I’m going to head out,” he tilts his head towards the door, one side of his mouth curled up in a smile. 

“You’re going to go find Harry, you mean,” Liam says teasingly, getting a smirk and a wave from Zayn before he darts out of the room. 

Then it’s just Liam there with him, his silence making Louis’ stomach hurt with worry. The things he imagines Liam to say varies from Liam moving away, to a place far, far way, to Liam getting married. 

Though, that should be a huge deal. Mostly to Liam, but also to Louis, who at times even forgets that Liam’s got a boyfriend. 

Liam flicks a finger against the desk where Zayn just sat; mostly it seems like he’s stalling, not quite sure how to say the thing he more or less promised Zayn that he should.

Louis isn’t the most patient of people, and this time is not different. Every minute Liam stays silent feels like an eternity, but he’s just waiting, maybe shifting a bit closer to Liam now and again. He’s not even noticing himself until he can feel his knee bump against Liam’s, but then it’s too late, so he just grins sharply when Liam startles and blinks at him, like he just remembered that Louis was there at all. 

“It’s really nothing,” Liam says, shrugging. “I was part of this silly talent show, long time ago.”

Louis frowns, sure there’s something Liam doesn’t tell him even though it doesn’t seem like Liam’s lying.

When Liam changes the subject, Louis lets him. If it’s something silly, it’s not worth Liam looking tense talking about it.

\-- -- --

Liam’s been a bit distant, the smile taking longer than usual when Louis gives him his tea. Liam’s _own_ tea, since Louis has started to pick up one extra every morning. Sometimes Liam doesn’t show, but Louis can always find someone else to give the tea to. Though, most of his staff won’t take the tea he offers now anyway, claiming them to be too sweet for their taste. 

Louis only gets what Liam wants, taking great pleasure in teasing Liam about the amount of sugar he takes as he sighs happily at the taste. It’s horrible and disgusting; Louis would never drink it, but he finds Liam’s tea habits as cute as he finds the rest of Liam’s traits. 

Liam still smiles, so Louis is not able to stop himself from feeling like he did something good. 

“I should hire you,” Louis muses, still not over the idea he’s got that Liam would be great as a part of their team. Everybody likes him; it should be good. 

“No,” Liam protests, shaking his head, still with the tea cup pressed against his lips. “Why would you do that?”

“Since you’re here all the time anyway,” Louis teases. It’s not the reason, but it kind of is the truth, not that Louis is complaining. He really isn’t. 

“That’s not enough,” Liam stresses, sounding weirdly upset about it. “You should not hire me because you like me. That’s not why you hire someone. You hire them because they’re good.”

It sounds like he’s trying to make Louis not give him a job. Sometimes Louis baffled by Liam’s way of dealing with things, with him more specifically. 

“I hired Niall because I liked him,” he says, waving Liam off when he tries to protest again. “That worked out amazingly, so it’s a bloody great way to hire people, it seems.”

It’s when Liam reaches out to put the almost empty teacup on the desk that Louis notices the finger shaped marks Liam’s got on his wrist, just exposed for a second before he sits back. Liam pulls the sleeve down, though, looking like he’s been caught doing something bad. 

“You had some fun last night. Looks a bit kinky, that,” he teases, regretting the words almost as soon as they’re out of his mouth. Not only because of how startled Liam seems, but also because he doesn’t really want to talk about what Liam gets up to with his boyfriend. His smirk comes out a little less sharp than usually, but he’s mostly successful at making sure it doesn’t wobble. 

“Oh, no,” Liam breathes out, fingers twitching at his wrist. “That’s not why --” he trails off, coughing. There is no blush on his cheeks, like Louis expected. Instead, Liam looks pale, avoiding Louis’ gaze completely. 

“That’s not why, what?” Louis asks, confused but also a bit worried. Nothing good can come from Liam acting like he rather be somewhere else entirely. 

“We just had a fight,” Liam blurts out, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. It looks like he’s biting hard enough to make himself bleed, but he doesn’t even seem to notice or care. “It’s nothing really.”

“And that’s why you have bruises,” Louis says slowly, having a hard time wrapping his head around it. Bruises from holding someone down, that he can understand, but the marks that peeked out from underneath Liam’s shirt, they’re not something he even can start to think about without feeling sick. “Because of your boyfriend.” The words don’t taste right in his mouth; it seems like he should do something, but he can’t figure out what.

“It’s really nothing,” Liam stresses, “It’s not like he hit me or anything like that.” He smiles, probably thinking it’ll calm Louis down when he mostly just wants to have a talking to with Liam’s boyfriend, who he hates more than ever. 

More than that, he wants to cuddle Liam up in the warmest blanket and hug him until he’s stopped talking such shit. 

“I’m so mad that I,” he stops just about he’s about to say _could_ _hit_ _someone_ , feeling like an idiot just thinking about doing so. “He should keep his nasty hands to himself.” He’s seething, eyes sharp as he thinks of way of punishing Liam’s boyfriend that won’t end with him adding to that fine he got for drinking too much and puking on a police officer’s feet that first term at Uni. 

“He just doesn’t like it that I’m here so much.” Liam shrugs, smiling tentatively. He looks hopeful, and for once he’s still. “Says it’s just a way for me to, you know.” He blushes, stopping short of saying something that either would make it all better or worse. 

Louis is betting on worse.

“That it’s a way for you to,” he repeats, hoping that Liam will fill in the rest. No matter how horrible it may be, he needs to hear it. 

“For me to get a record deal,” Liam says, looking like he wants to stuff the words right back into his mouth. 

“You want a record deal?” Louis wonders out loud, wanting to smack himself in the face when that’s the first thing on his mind. “I mean, what does he think you’d do to get that record deal.” He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s not as we hand them out like candy, just because someone’s our friend.”

“He said that I’d seduce you for it,” Liam says with a small voice, head turned away from Louis.

Louis has a feeling like it’s not all Max said, the way Liam’s breathing, fast and shallow like he’s close to having a panic attack, makes Louis stop pushing. He wants to know, needs to know, but he also doesn’t want to force Liam into anything.

“You like some more tea?” Louis offers, squeezing Liam’s shoulder gently to get his attention. “I’ll make you some, if you want.”

Liam gives him a grateful smile, wiping his hand across his cheek. His eyes look suspiciously wet, but Louis doesn’t want to push. It’s not like he’ll forget about it, though. He’ll just need to figure out a way to make Liam feel safe enough to talk about it. A way for him to get through to Liam that he doesn’t deserve any of it, not even if he’d tried to sleep his way to a record deal. 

It’s not until Liam’s left that Louis realises that he’s basically never seen Liam without the long sleeve shirts, always buttoned up and sleeves pulled down. He always thought it was because Liam liked it that way, finding the properness of it cute. 

As he slumps forward on his desk, forehead thumping painfully against it, he needs to know what Liam does more than ever. Needs to know that he’s okay.

A handful of breaths later, each one long and forced in a try to keep calm, he sits up and takes out his phone. 

Typing and deleting the letters he taps into his phone to Liam several times, he simply ends up sending him _we need to talk_. 

Liam will know about what. 

\-- -- --

Louis’ office is empty when he gets there, it makes him frown and kick at the chair as he passes it. Restless and unsure of what to do, he sits there staring at his laptop, and it’s not even on. He’d hoped that Liam would be there, that everything would be like usual. 

Louis is not sure if Liam’s going to show at all; he didn’t get an answer to his text the night before. It worries him, and for the first time, he understands how his mum must have felt when he didn’t come home as promised, always a bit sloppy with the rules. 

This is worse, though. It _must_ be worse. Not knowing how bad it really is for Liam, makes it hard for him to handle. In his head, he’s got all these horrible images of Liam being hurt and afraid, when he himself pined after him without knowing anything. Maybe it’s like Liam told him, that Max’s not hitting him, the bruises on his wrist only one thing off. Liam’s more or less told him that he wasn’t abused. 

Louis shudders, that word putting a name to everything Liam’s gone through -- whatever it is. He’s not entirely lost on the subject, knowing the fact that Liam doesn't have to have bruised to be just that. Just thinking about telling someone he's dating the things he knows Liam’s been told, it makes him feel sick. 

He’s a lot of things, but he’s not mean to the people he loves. He may have a bit of a temper, but he loves fiercely, hating the thought of hurting his family and friends. 

Sighing deeply, Louis opens his laptop. He’s got work to do, just like every other day. He’ll wait and see if Liam comes to him. If not, he’ll try calling him and if that doesn’t work, he’ll try again. 

It’s harder than usual to concentrate on the numbers on the screen, the latest financial results pleasing, but not enough to stop him from thinking about what -- how -- Liam’s doing. 

It’s a little after the lunch break that Liam shows up. At first, Louis doesn’t even notice him, deep in conversation with Nick about the new act he’s found. But then Liam clears his throat, standing just outside his office as if he’s not always just goes in a sits down in the spot he’s spent so many hours that Louis misses him when he’s not there. 

As long as Louis’ door is open, it’s never a problem. Liam should know that. 

“Hiya,” Nick grins, giving Liam a floppy wave. He looks happy to see him, which doesn’t surprise Louis, everybody should love Liam. “We’re done in a minute, love. Then you’ve your boyfriend all to yourself.” 

“Great,” Liam says, twisting his hands together. 

Louis lets out a forced laugh, wishing with everything he’s got that he’d been allowed to pinch Nick. He likes his dry humour, but now he feels awkward. It’s not Nick’s fault, he knows that. It’s really not his fault that it’s weird between him and Liam now, but then again, it’s not his own fault either. He doesn’t say anything, listening to Nick with half his focus, the rest on Liam. 

When Nick leaves, he pats Liam’s back, winking at him. Then he pulls the door closed after himself, leaving the two of them alone. Louis is both grateful and not at the same time. Now that he’s got Liam there, he’s not quite sure what to say. Or even how to begin. 

“So,” he starts, still not set on what the next word will be. 

Liam’s so still, looking like he’s about to be yelled at, stiff shoulders and eyes almost blanked over. It doesn’t even look like he’s there mentally. 

“Just get it over with,” Liam mumbles, letting out a small laugh that’s everything but happy. 

“Get it over with,” Louis echoes, confused. He’s there to get things to make sense, but Liam’s not making it easy. “I just want to talk to you.”

“You’re about to tell me that I deserve better,” Liam says, making air quotes around the word _deserve_. “The thing is, Max’s good to me.”

Louis feels like he’s in some sort of alternative universe, where nothing makes sense. “He’s not,” he says slowly, forcing himself not to roll his eyes like he wants to. Not because of Liam, not really; it’s just the thought of calling Liam’s boyfriend anything expect a dick, is ridiculous. “And you do deserve better.”

“Now you sound like my mum,” Liam snarks, rolling his eyes. 

Suddenly things make sense to Louis. How it could be that Liam seemed to adore his mum, but still never went to visit her. “Maybe I do,” he says, calm on the outside but wanting to cry inside, hearing Liam believe that he actually deserved to be treated that way. “If she cares about you, she’s a great person. I’ve nothing against being compared to someone who does that.”

Liam sighs, the sudden anger in his stance slipping away. Then he just looks tired, making Louis want to hug him more than ever. 

“He loves me,” Liam stresses, giving Louis a pleading look. “I know he loves me.”

Louis takes careful steps forward, moving as if Liam was a skittish horse, ready to bolt. When he’s close enough to touch Liam if he wants to, he stops, waiting to see that Liam doesn’t really want to get out of there. He’ll let him, in that case. 

“Can I see them,” Louis says gently, reaching out. When his fingers brush against Liam’s hand, he’s holding his breath, waiting for him to pull away. It doesn’t happen. Liam sighs but agrees, nodding with his lips pressed together hard. 

The marks are bigger than he thought at first glance, a wide purple bruise wrapping around Liam’s wrist, worst on the underside where the skin is pale and thin. 

It looks like he’s got fading marks there, too. Louis doesn’t say anything, only strokes his finger over them carefully. Then he pops the button closed again, fingers shaking so hard that he slips the first time. 

“It’s not okay, Liam,” Louis says, edging close to Liam until he can wrap his arms around him. Liam lets him, not really hugging back, but at least not pushing him away. “It’s fucking awful, what he does to you.” Blinking away the tears in his eyes, he presses his face against Liam’s neck. His voice shakes, but he tries to hold himself together. 

If anyone, it’s Liam who should cry, not him. 

“I’ve nobody else,” Liam whispers, causing Louis to shake his head. It’s not true, Liam’s got him, and the rest of the friends he’s made at the office. 

Liam doesn’t even seem to realise. 

Louis’ arms tighten around Liam, the warmth of Liam’s body not enough to stop Louis from feeling cold. They just stand there; Louis doesn’t know for how long, but after awhile Liam starts to relax against him, slumping forward so most of his weight is on Louis. 

Louis still feels wobbly when he pulls away, patting Liam’s cheek once. With a little head tilt, he tells Liam that he should sit down on the plush sofa Louis has in his office, too much in the corner for him to use on a normal day.

“So,” Louis murmurs, sitting down next to Liam. Their thighs touch, but otherwise he’s careful with Liam, still not sure what’s okay to do. If he’s allowed to hug Liam now too. If he really _wants_ Louis to. “Maybe you should tell me then. Make me understand.”

“It’s not that I don’t,” Liam pauses, his hand out in a gesture that Louis doesn’t know what it means. “I’m grateful that you care, but I’ve dated Max for almost three years, lived with him most of the time, and it’s not so bad.”

“You moved in with him when you’re sixteen?” Louis wonders, not sure if it’s the right thing to focus on. It feels a bit off with him, though, Max’s older than Louis even. 

“My mum didn’t like that,” Liam says. “Cried all over me, still does every time I go home.” His eyes look a bit wet at the corners, like it’s hard just to think about. 

“She doesn’t like him then?” Louis is pretty certain of the answer, but he needs to hear it from Liam. “Or was it just that you moved away from home.”

“She’s never really liked him,” Liam mumbles, blinking away a tear. “I really miss her, though. It’d be so much better if she just _liked_ him.” 

Louis pats Liam’s thigh, wanting to soothe away some of the hurt. Then he leaves his hand there, squeezing gently as he tries to think of something to say. “Maybe you should, you know. Not date him.”

“No,” Liam says, stubbornly. “It’s good between us.” Shaking his head, he pushes Louis’ hand away and stands up. “I’ve nothing without him,” He’s upset, moving away when Louis stands up, too. “You can’t ask me to leave him.”

“I didn’t ask you to do anything,” Louis says, knowing it’s not quite true. If he could, he would force Liam never to see Max again, but he knows that he can’t, that Liam makes his own decisions. “But you can always come to me, if anything happens.”

“Thanks,” Liam mumbles. “But it’s not needed. It’s all great. This.” He holds his hand up, nodding toward the hidden away bruises on his wrist “He’s not like that, not usually.”

Louis nods, hoping that Liam knows that he can come to him, no matter what. Then he lets the subject drop, still feeling shaky and wrong as he talks to Liam about safer things -- like what Zayn’s really doing at the office, how red he can make Niall with just a few words. 

\-- -- --

Louis is drunk, leaning heavily against Niall’s side. The road keeps twisting and rising in front of him, making him trip and almost fall over. Luckily, he’s got Niall there, being the best friend a bloke ever could want. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Niall laughs, sounding a bit strained. “I heard you the first time. And the second time, too.”

“Not the third time?” Louis says, stopping to frown at Niall. Maybe he should take his words back, Niall’s not such a good friend if he doesn’t listen. 

Niall rolls his eyes, still with that fond look on his face. He’s a bit buzzed too, just not quite as much as Louis. Drinking his problems -- not really his, but Liam’s -- wasn’t the best idea, he knows that, even while drunk of his arse, but it felt good to forget about how hopelessly little he knows what to do. 

“I can’t hear what you’re mumbling about,” Niall says, starting to steer them in the right direction, towards Louis’ flat in Primrose Hill. 

At least that what Louis thinks, he’s got enough problem to figure out where to put his feet, he can’t tell where they are. 

“I said that it’s hopeless,” Louis says, slurring on the last word. “ _Hopeless_.”

Niall laughs, shaking his head. “Okay, someone’s a sad drunk today. Not your usual style, but that’s okay.”

“Have you ever hit Harry?” Louis frowns as his drunken mind try to figure out why it feels like he forgets something. “Oh, right.” He stops again, ignoring both Niall’s protest and his puzzled look. “Or Zayn. He’d do too, I guess.”

“Have I ever hit them?” Niall asks, stumbling a little as Louis’ legs wobbles. “As in, have I ever, like, spanked them?” His cheeks get the tiniest bit pink, ears too, so Louis tells himself not to forget about it, his usual self even would want to know. 

Letting Niall move him forward, he shakes his head, everything going a bit blurry around the edges. “No, no,” he protests, feeling himself get a little bit nauseous, not only because of the alcohol. “Like, have you hit them, properly.”

Niall stops smiling, eyes widening when he realises that Louis is serious. “Fuck no.”

“Liam’s boyfriend hits him,” Louis mumbles angrily, not noticing at first that Niall stops. “I think,” he adds since he really doesn’t know what Liam’s boyfriend does to him, no matter how much he wants to know -- in a way, at least. “He’s a prick anyway.”

“What?” Niall asks, sounding shocked. “He doesn’t. Why would he even? Liam’s not. Just no.” 

What Niall says don’t really make sense, but Louis still understand what he wants to say. 

Then he realises that Liam might not have wanted him to tell, he’d not planned to; it’s Liam’s secret, he’s sure. It feels like he’s done something wrong, his mind screaming at him to take everything back, tell Niall that he lied. He could blame being jealous, drunk or just plain overworked. It’d never work, though, Niall knows him, the tells he gets when he lies since long familiar to him. 

“Don’t tell him you know,” Louis rushes to say. “He’d hate that you know.” 

Liam would, is the thing; he’s sweet and wonderful, but also so very stubborn and proud, a lot like Louis himself. He’d hate for someone to know, he probably hopes that his boyfriend will change, or even worse, think he doesn’t even do anything wrong. 

Niall hushes him, stroking his back as he makes an upset sound. “We’ll talk about it when you’re not about to be sick on our shoes, yeah?”

Louis hiccups, nodding when he tries to get words out but feel his stomach roll instead. He really shouldn’t have had the last three green shots; he can already feel his hangover, his head bound to make the next day hellish. 

They make it all the way home, and he doesn’t throw up on them, not this time. He’s still got a lot to thank Niall for. Niall really is the best assistant ever, maybe even his best mate.

“Love you too, mate,” Niall says, patting his cheek once. Then he drops him on the bed, taking hold of one of Louis’ feet and slipping his shoe off, letting it drop to the floor he does the same to the other. “I’ll get some water for you.” 

Louis just hums, twisting over so he can curl up on his side; a pillow hugged close to his chest. Sleepy, so sleep, he can almost feel himself drift off. Not even then he can forget about the marks on Liam’s skin. 

When Niall comes back, he sets the water, along with some pain pills on Louis’ bedside table. “I’ll sleep on your sofa. We’ll have that talk tomorrow.” 

It doesn’t sound like a question, but Louis still nods, eyes closed. 

\-- -- --

It’s late when there’s a knock on the door; Louis is not had the best day, he’s still slightly hungover, even when it’s Monday and it’s been two days. Also, Liam didn’t even pop in to say hi, which makes him worried. It makes Niall concerned, too, but he promised not to burst into the office next door and make a scene.

It’s not that Louis doesn’t want to do that himself, he’d just hate for Liam never to talk to him again. Which he’s pretty certain Liam would. Instead, he’s just going to speak to Liam again, make him understand that it’s not okay, make him want to leave his jerk of a boyfriend. 

That’d be easier if Liam actually talked to him, not ignored all the texts Louis sent him, still lying sideways on his sofa. 

If he won’t leave him, Louis is not sure what to do, maybe make some sort of police rapport. It’d probably do nothing if Liam didn’t stand behind it, though.

Opening the door, Louis is shocked to see Liam standing there. He expected someone is trying to sell him something, maybe Niall -- which was the reason he even got off the sofa. After the unanswered texts and the part where he missed Liam all day, he kind of thought that Liam brushed him off. 

“Liam?” Louis wonders, starting to smile before he realises what state Liam’s in. 

Liam’s obviously upset, cheeks wet with tears and red like he’s been crying for awhile. Hiccuping out something that might be Louis’ name, he just stands there. 

He doesn’t look broken. Not physically, at least, Louis notes, letting his eyes slide up and down Liam’s body. His clothes are a bit messed up, the shirt he’s wearing not buttoned all the way up for once, but he looks whole. Louis would be happier about it if Liam didn't start to sob harder, having a hard time breathing through it. 

“Bloody hell,” Louis mumbles, talking more to himself than Liam. “Come in here, let me --” _take care_ _of you_ , goes unsaid, he’s too busy guiding Liam into the flat. 

“Louis,” Liam says, not letting go of his wrist when Louis helps him down on the sofa and then turning away from him. He’s only meant to get a few things, maybe close the door, which he didn’t even do, frazzled by how upset Liam seemed. 

“I’ll get back to you in a minute, Li,” he says, feeling Liam’s fingers twitch against his skin. Relieved that Liam lets him go willingly, slumping back into the sofa like a ragdoll, he rushes out of the living room, wanting to get back as quickly as possible. 

When he glances over his shoulder, Liam’s not moved an inch, sitting there staring out into nothing while the tears run freely down his cheeks. 

It’s hard to remember what he’s supposed to do, but he knows he must have left Liam for a reason. The door is the first thing that pops up in his head, so he hurries there, closing it with a slam that makes him wince. On his way back, he picks up a few items in on the way, but none of them he thinks really will make Liam feel any better. 

He really feels useless, wanting to call his mum, his boys, anyone who’d be able to tell him how to take care of Liam the best possible way. 

Liam smiles when Louis gives him a tissue, but it looks hollow and wrong with the tears in his eyes. 

He just stands there, looking at Liam as another sob wracks his body, but then he wants to smack himself for not doing anything more than to just look. As soon as he sits down, careful to not touch Liam in case he doesn’t want that, Liam curls into his body, almost climbing up on his lap in his hurry to get close. 

“You alright?” It’s one of the dumbest things Louis has ever said, but Liam doesn’t even seem to hear him. 

When he puts a hand on Liam’s back, stroking his hand up and down in slow, soothing motions, he tries to feel if Liam feels broken. If he’s hiding something underneath those clothes that Louis needs to know about, if he maybe should take him to a hospital.

He never noticed the damage to Liam’s skin, not until months into their friendship, so he gives up pretty quickly. Liam’s obviously been good at hiding his hurt, up until now, at least. 

Louis’ loose t-shirt, hanging halfway off one of his shoulder is wet with Liam’s tears. Louis talks gently to him, words that don’t really mean anything, just stories about his little sisters and his mates, anything to have something to say. It seems to calm Liam down, hearing him talk, so he’ll talk until his throat feels sore. 

“You want to tell me what happened? 

Liam shakes his head, still nestled close to Louis’ neck, breaths coming in short, warm puffs against Louis’ skin. 

Louis loses track of how long they sit there, but when Liam’s stopped crying, his body softer, he can feel that his arm’s asleep under Liam’s weight. “You should go to bed. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

They have to, Louis can’t let him get away with not talking one more time. Not when it ended with Liam being so upset it’s a wonder he even managed to get to Louis’ flat. 

“I’ve nowhere to go now,” Liam mumbles sadly, fingers gripping Louis’ t-shirt harder as he talks. The material is stretched out, probably ruined from tears and snot and being twisted in Liam’s hands, but Louis wouldn’t even have noticed unless Liam wasn’t staring at it like he’s about to start sobbing again. 

“You can take my bed,” Louis says, helping Liam up from the sofa. When he’s sure that Liam won’t fall over, he gives him a gentle push in the right direction. “I’ll take the sofa.”

Liam looks like he’s about to protest.

“Just sleep, please,” Louis begs, feeling heavy and tired like he’s run a mile. “You’ll feel better, I promise.” 

He probably won’t, it’s not like sleep helps against broken hearts or cruel partners, but at least then he’ll be rested. Louis hopes that will make the conversation they must have a bit easier, for them both. 

Liam doesn’t close the door after himself, when he does what Louis asks, so Louis can hear him moving around in bed, tossing and turning. It’s easy to tell that he can’t sleep either. 

Any other day, he’d been delighted to have Liam in his bed, no matter the circumstances, now he just feels horrible. It’s not until he’s on the sofa, with a blanket covering his body but still in his clothes -- too distracted to even think about taking them off -- he realises that he didn’t even offer to change the sheets. 

It’s not like it matters, but he feels like Liam should at least have clean sheets. It feels like he should have thought about it, at least. 

It takes ages for him to fall asleep. 

\-- -- --

The next morning, he sends Niall a text, telling him that he won’t be in; he knows Niall will probably know why he’s home -- Louis has been to work sick more than once, drinking tea with honey and sniffling in meetings. He also knows that Niall will take care of his business, would probably be able to run the whole thing, if he wanted to.

It’s not like Louis hasn’t tried to promote him, panicking on the inside over getting a new assistant. Niall’s waved him off every time, claiming to be happy with what he’s got. Louis gives him a raise, a bonus of sorts every time, too. 

It might be that Niall earns as much as Nick does, who’s got a fancier title on his business card. 

Puttering around in his kitchen, joggers and a loose tank top on, he listens for sounds from Liam’s room. His room, really. He tries to be as quiet as possible, wincing when his fingers slip on the porcelain, and it thumps down on the counter. He can’t think that Liam’s slept more than him, and he feels like his eyes are about to slip shut, all of his body heavy and tired. 

He’s on his second cup of tea when Liam interrupts his thoughts, standing in the door with a doubtful look on his face. He looks worse for wear, his skin still blotchy and red, the clothes he’s got on the same as he’s got on the night before. Of course, it’s not like he could just go home and change. 

Louis can still feel the panic in Liam’s voice as he said he’d nowhere to go, so Louis can’t think he’d go back to the flat he shares with his boyfriend, or maybe now his ex, just because his shirt is badly wrinkled. 

The chair makes a loud, scratching noise as he almost tips it over in his hurry to stand. “I’ll get something for you,” Louis says, needing more than anything to take care of Liam. 

“It’s fine,” Liam mumbles, shrugging. “I’m good like this.” He gives Louis a smile that’s probably meant to pacify him, make him sit down and have his tea. 

Louis slides past Liam in the doorway, rubbing a hand on his back, pressing in just a little where Liam seems as most tense. “I’ll get it for you,” he mutters, pretty sure he could out-stubborn Liam in this case. 

Nothing’s really fine. Yesterday Liam had somewhere to live, a boyfriend and -- nothing more, Louis realises. Nothing more than him and the routine they’ve at the office. Maybe even his mum if he wants to. Louis can’t imagine her stop loving Liam, even when he doesn’t know her, he just knows his own mum, how forgiving she’s been. 

When he comes back with a pair of old joggers and a t-shirt he hopes he’s washed before he put it in the drawer. He really didn’t have time to sort that out, wanting to get back to Liam sooner rather than later. It’s not like he can fool himself into thinking that he doesn’t like the thought of Liam smelling like him; he tries to push it away, though. 

Liam doesn’t protest. Even gives him a small smile before he shuffles back into Louis’ bedroom, this time closing the door after himself. 

As he waits, Louis puts the kettle on again, taking out a mug for Liam as the water boils. 

The t-shirt, it turns out, fits Liam rather nicely; his shoulders a bit broader than Louis, making it tight in just the right places. Louis’ has a hard time looking away from him, wanting to smooth his finger over the stretched out fabric. The joggers make him giggle behind his hand; they’re too short, baring Liam’s pale ankles as he sits down gingerly on one of the kitchen chairs. 

“So,” Louis says, putting the steaming hot cup of tea in front of Liam. He doesn’t have much to offer when it comes to breakfast; it’s something he should have gone out to get when Liam was asleep, but he didn’t want to wake him. “Did you sleep alright?”

Liam shrugs, fitting both his hands around the tea mug. He looks at it, instead of Louis. “You’ve a nice bed.”

It’s not what Louis asked, but he understands that Liam might not want to talk. “I do,” he agrees, poking his toes against Liam’s ankle. Just a small touch before he goes to sit down on the chair placed right in front of Liam. 

“I shouldn’t have made you sleep on the sofa.” Liam flicks his eyes up, looking straight at him as he chews on his bottom lip. It only lasts a couple of seconds, and then he seems very interested in the tea again, frowning at it like it’s done something wrong. 

“What the fuck?” Louis blurts out, unable to stop himself. His voice is too loud, having almost an angry tone that even Louis doesn’t like. 

Liam startles, finally looking at him for real since he sat down. “I didn’t mean to do,” he pauses, the frown deepening as he thinks; it’s so obvious that he’s got no clue about what to say. “I didn’t mean to upset you,” he ends up saying, his voice smaller.

Louis feels bad, leaning forward to squeeze Liam’s thigh. He’s halfway out of his own seat, twisted around the table, but Liam stops shaking when Louis just pats Liam’s leg and then leaves his hand there. He can’t sit like that for long, his muscles already straining a bit, but he can take that, if only Liam doesn’t think he’s upset with him.

Even if he kind of is, only not for the reason Liam thinks. 

“I don’t care about my bed,” Louis huffs, shaking his head when Liam opens his mouth to interrupt him. “I just want you to know that you can stay here. For as long as you need to.”

“Really?” Liam asks with a small voice. “You don’t mind.”

“Hey,” Louis teases, wiggling his eyebrows. “You’re always welcome in my bed." He says it like it’s a joke, wanting to make Liam giggle and lose that horrible stiffness in his shoulders. 

It’s not a joke to him, though. 

“Don’t be dumb,” Liam says, the corner of his mouth lifting up in a small smile. “I’m sure you’ve plenty of boys,” he pauses, tilting his head to the side. “Or girls?”

Louis’ back is starting to protest, so he sits up, at once sliding down so he can spread his legs wider as he gets comfortable. Liam seems less tense, so that means he can relax, too. “I don’t really care that much,” he says, having had both boyfriends and girlfriends in the past. 

The last year, he’s not really had anyone, his last boyfriend wanting him more for his money than because he really liked Louis. The minute he noticed Liam, he knew that he wanted him; for what he thought might be a fun and temporary fling or just a couple of wet, lovely snogs in the bathroom of his office, turned into something else entirely. 

“You sure you’re fine with me staying here then?” Liam asks, smiling over the edge of his teacup. 

Louis snorts, arching one eyebrow. “Do I need to tell you again,” he tease, voice light. “I could have Niall give you a written copy of my statement. He could give you double copies even.” 

Niall probably would do it, they both know it, so it makes them smile wider. 

“I think I might have to find myself a job?” It comes out like a question, and Liam looks almost like he waits for someone to tell him no. When Louis only nods, wanting to show that he’s listening, he adds, “I’ve no real experience or good grades. But I’d do anything.”

He sounds like he means it, so Louis just blurts out, “You could work for me.”

Liam just blinks at him, tea raised but forgotten. “No,” he says, hastily. “I can’t do that.”

“What?” Louis asks, not understanding why Liam’s so keen on saying no, not even waiting for Louis to tell him anything about the job. “Why not?”

“It’d be like that,” Liam whispers, “like Max said, about me using you to get an into the music industry.”

Louis never been so angry before, but he tries to keep it in, knowing that Liam needs him there as a supporting friend. “It’s not like that, though. You might sleep in my bed,” he smiles at Liam in a try to make him smile, too. “But it’s not as you sleep with me to get a job.”

“It feels kind of weird anyway,” Liam says, sounding a bit doubtful still. 

Louis butts his toe against Liam’s foot, ignoring that it’s a bit like he’s playing footsie with him. It’s just to make Liam smile and giggle because he’s ticklish. He’s pleased that Liam doesn’t pull away, but not pleased that Liam hasn’t said yes. “We can try,” he coaxes. “Like, give it a month or two.”

He’s never had to talk anyone into working for him before. It’s usually the other way around. 

“I’m good at trying,” Liam murmurs, nodding firmly like he’s decided on something. “I can do that.”

Before the breakfast -- that mostly consists of tea and biscuits -- is over, he’s written a contract with Liam that tells what he’s supposed to do the next month. It’s easier paperwork, helping out with coffee runs and stuff like that. It's a start, enough to make Liam happy with it. 

It’s on a napkin, so it’s not really binding. But it doesn’t matter when he knows that Liam will have something to do, and even better, that the something is so close to him.

\-- -- -- 

Niall’s almost even more open with his delight than usual when Liam goes with Louis to the office the next day, grinning like he’s not seen Liam for weeks when it really only has been a few days. Liam seems almost overwhelmed at first, shy like he hasn’t been since the second week. 

It doesn’t last for long, Louis can hear them talking, giggling over something when Niall shows Liam what he’s supposed to do. Louis has dubbed him Liam’s mini-boss, a title he promised would be put on Niall’s resume. 

He’s always been kind of the mini-boss anyway, over Louis, too. 

Harry doesn’t seem to know about anything, which Louis is grateful for. Not that he thinks that Harry’s any worse to tell it to than Niall, it’s just that he didn’t even mean to tell Niall. When Liam wants to, he’ll tell Harry himself the reason he left Max. Or what it was happened, Louis is not certain about that himself. 

The blush on Liam’s cheeks as Harry jokes about him coming to work in the clothes from the day before makes Harry laugh loudly. It’s all the confirmation Harry needs, nodding to himself as he sidles up to Niall’s desk. The reason Liam’s clothes are a wrinkled isn’t the one Harry implies, but Liam doesn’t correct him. 

It’s a good day, considering everything. He does notice that Liam gets nervous, claiming not to be done when they’re are about to leave. It takes Louis a minute to figure out why Liam’s copying the same paper three times as he watches him. Then he feels stupid. 

“Max won’t be out there,” Louis murmurs as he presses the off button and taking the paper out of Liam’s hand, without looking at what it is he puts on the shelf.

Louis _hopes_ he isn’t, not sure what he’ll do if he actually comes face to face with him. 

Liam nods, his smile shaky but real. “I can’t avoid him, can I?” 

“Bloody hell, of course, you can,” Louis says, taking Liam’s hand and squeezing once before he lets it go again. It’s a lie, they both know it; short of getting a restraining order, there is no way of making sure Liam never meets Max. 

Louis will have to look into how that works, but first, he needs to get Liam home. Then he can see if Liam wants to try for that, if he’s willing to talk to someone. Louis has a feeling he won’t, he’s not said a word about what happened that made him, _finally_ , leave. Liam talking to a stranger about it seems like a farfetched dream. 

Louis is surprised when Liam’s hand darts out, grabbing hold of his.

“Let’s go then,” Liam says, nails digging in on Louis’ wrist. “Let’s go back to yours.”

Niall doesn’t say a word when they pass his desk, doesn’t even tease them. Sometimes Louis wonders what he’d do without him. 

They don’t meet anyone in the hall, Liam’s hand clammy on his skin as they hurry out of there. 

\-- -- --

Later when both of them are tired but still not ready to sleep; the telly playing the end titles of a bad action movie that Louis had seen before, but still can’t remember the name of. 

It’s been a long day; Louis had a hard time thinking about anything except how Liam coped with everything, something he’s still not sure about. Liam seems okay, but he’s seemed okay the whole time -- mostly -- and that turned out to be not the case at all. 

“You sure you don’t want your bed?” Liam asks, pulling at the fabric of the joggers Louis lent him the day before. They should go get Liam’s stuff, when his ex’s not home -- or maybe Louis could convince Liam to let him buy him new stuff. He’d happily do it if he saved Liam the stress of going back there. 

But Liam’s bound to have personal stuff, little memories from his childhood, photos and stuff that can’t be replaced by money. Liam does seem to love his family a lot even when he rarely visits or even talks about them, so he pushes away the thought about wrapping Liam up in bubble wrap to keep him safe. It’s tempting, but he’s also a realist, knowing that Liam would _hate_ it; he’s not one to ask for help, even when he really should.

“I’m fine right here,” he says, stretching his hands over his head as he stands up. 

It’s good enough for him, the pillows plush and nice, but it’s not good enough for Liam. He would hate to admit out loud how much he thinks Liam really deserves, what is good enough for him. 

It’d be so obvious how smitten he is by Liam, and that’s the last thing Liam needs right now. 

“Right,” Liam says, stalling. “Maybe I should get out of your hair, then.” He still doesn’t move, linking his hands together in his lap. 

“We could always put you up at a hotel if you want to?” Louis hopes that’s not the case; he’d probably sleep even less. 

Liam’s eyes widen, eyebrows drawing together as he shakes his head. “No, no,” he rushes to say, “if you’re okay with me being here, I want that. I don’t want to stay at a hotel. “ The part about him not wanting to be alone goes unsaid, but Louis can still hear it in Liam’s voice. 

“It’s fine,” Louis says, bumping his bare foot against Liam’s shin. “I’ve all this space and nobody to make breakfast in the mornings, it’s great to have someone here.”

Liam seems to believe him, a small smile on his lips as he says, “I think it’s only fair if I make the breakkie, though.” 

Really, it’s tea and dry toast they’re talking about, it’s not like Louis has had time to shop for anything else. He could have done it, instead of spending the whole night with Liam on the sofa, only taking the shortest breaks possible to go get them tea or go to the loo, but it didn’t feel like a good enough reason to leave Liam alone. 

It’s not like he thinks Liam will break if he leaves him alone. It’s just that he looks so sad, and that makes Louis not want to leave him. He feels terribly protective but isn’t really sure what to do to make anything better. 

“Nah,” Louis dismisses, ignoring how Liam pouts at him, bottom lip pushed out, so it’s even plusher than usual. It’s a good look on him, makes Louis want to kiss him an awful lot. 

Everything about Liam makes Louis want to kiss him, but that’s nothing new. It’s easier to push those thought away -- he can’t think that Liam’s interested in anything with him, not now. 

Liam yawns several more times, every time trying to hide it behind his hands as if Louis wouldn’t notice anything when Liam’s eyes squeeze together. When he’s half-asleep next to Louis, body slumping against him more and more, Louis nudges him gently and raises one eyebrow questionably. 

“Time to go to bed, yeah?” 

Liam nods, his curls unruly and eyes shiny. It takes him some time to get up, stretching every limb slowly as if he’s not ready to leave the sofa yet. Just as Louis is about to ask if Liam rather spends the night at a hotel, Liam gets up, stalling for a minute before he gives Louis a small wave -- and a tiny smile that’s enough to make Louis want to grin back. Probably way too fondly. 

Louis watches him go; sure he’s not supposed to be so happy about Liam being in his clothes, his bare ankles making him want to smile more than laugh at him for how ridiculous it really looks. 

After they both have gone to bed, Louis can hear Liam moving around. He seems as restless as the night before, unable to fall asleep. 

Louis isn’t much better off.

\-- -- --

It’s the third night he spends on his -- admittedly very nice, but not made for sleeping on -- sofa. Liam’s not said anything about not wanting to stay in his flat, and more surprisingly, about sleeping in his bed. Still, Louis feels like he’s waiting for things just to fall apart; Liam’s so very quiet, just coming out of that shell for short periods of time, forgetting about being sad for a moment. 

Then Liam remembers again, closing in on himself as if he expects everything to fall apart. 

Louis has no idea what to do. 

Right now it’s quiet from his bedroom, which makes him even more on the edge. It can’t be that Liam’s asleep that causes the almost tense silence. Liam’s not very still in his sleep, and the bags under his eyes are very telling about how bad he’s sleeping, even with the soft duvet and pillows in Louis’ bed. 

Liam’s always fidgeting or moving around. Or sleep talking about something Louis can’t really understand; he doesn’t even want to, really. It feels weird and intrusive. 

Louis sighs, picking at the blanket as he tries to think of what to do. He kind of wants to call his mum or Harry, have someone else tell him what to do. But it’s in the middle of the night, and everybody who might be able to make him think is probably asleep. 

His limbs feel heavy and clumsy as he gets up, still with the light off, in case Liam’s actually sleeping. If so, he’ll just find his way back to the sofa and go to sleep too, he’s got things to do tomorrow. He ignores the voice in his head that tells him it’s just a few hours till then -- the day is bound to be terrible -- sitting through meetings with a headache and blurry eyes. 

That doesn’t feel as important as making sure that Liam’s sleeping. Louis would tell Liam to stay at home and sleep if he only thought that Liam would agree to do so.

He tried the first day, that didn’t go well, Liam’s stressed little _no_ making Louis forget about all the arguments he’d thought up during the hours he couldn’t sleep himself. 

Peeking in through the open door, he finds Liam with the duvet pulled up close to his chin, and his eyes closed. Louis frowns as he watches his chest rise and fall, too forced to be anything than Liam trying to make him think that he’s asleep. 

“Liam,” he says softly, taking a small step towards the bed; he’s not quite sure what makes him take one more, and then another until he’s so close he could reach out and touch Liam. If his hands weren’t clutched firmly behind his back, just to keep him from doing so.

Liam’s eyebrows twitch when Louis says his name, but he won’t open his eyes.

“I know you’re awake,” Louis says, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Carefully so he doesn’t spook Liam. “You mind telling me why you can’t sleep?” It feels easier asking in the dark, where Liam can’t really see how hard it is for him.

Louis feels awful for thinking it’s hard; it’s not him who’s just left a relationship that lasted for years but wasn’t very good. 

The problem is that they haven’t talked, not about anything, so Louis tiptoes around Liam, trying to do and say the right thing. Only he’s got no idea what Liam’s gone through, so he’s building up all these images in his head; some of them might be right, but he’s sure he doesn’t do Liam any favours by treating him like he’s made out of glass. 

Louis can see Liam’s eyelashes flutter in the dim light, and he sighs as he figures that Liam won’t open his eyes, that he’ll keep on pretending to be asleep. Then he blinks his eyes open, looking startled to see Louis there on the bed even though he must have been able to feel it dip. 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Louis blurts out, just as Liam opens his mouth. 

Liam hums, smiling softly. It looks a bit weak, unsure but it’s something, and it makes Louis’ stomach feel warm. 

“It’s not like you don’t know,” he mumbles, looking anywhere except at Louis. He’s fidgeting again, fingers twisting the duvet before he moves them to his hair, twining one curl around them. 

He does; he thinks he does, but that’s not enough. “Not really,” Louis pushes, trying to wait Liam out. Only, he’s not very good at being patient, it’s not one of his strong suits, it’s not what made him what he is, successful at a young age. “I do know that you dated the worst twat in the history.”

“He wasn’t that bad.” Liam talks over him, sitting up in bed and shaking his head, his movements rushed. “He wasn’t, really.” His tone is insisting, his whole body leaning forward as he tries to convince Louis to believe him.

Louis scowls, holding back the words he really wants to say. 

“I mean,” Liam continues, voice so low that Louis barely can hear him. He tries to tell himself that’s the reason he shuffles up on the bed, not stopping until he’s resting against the headboard, close to Liam but not too close. “He was sweet, and he cared for me like nobody else ever had.”

Louis’ heart clenches, when he thinks about Liam, how much he must have believed in his relationship. How much he must have wanted it to work, if he stayed for so long in it. 

“You were sixteen,” he huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. He told himself he shouldn’t get upset or mad, but it’s not really Liam he’s mad at, it’s the whole situation. What a mess it’s made Liam’s life. 

Liam shrugs, looking all too much like he’s heard that before. “Yeah,” he agrees, sounding tired. “I was sixteen, and he was the first to be interested in me.” He pauses, takes a deep breath, just staring at his hands. “But he was my first friend. At least, that was what I thought.”

It’s hard for him to imagine that. At sixteen, he was careless and made his mum worry with all the mischief he and his mates got caught up in. He can’t imagine being that alone, but he can hear the pain in Liam’s voice, even now years later.

He stays quiet for once, sensing that Liam’s not done talking. More than anything, he wants to scream about what an idiot Liam’s ex was -- _is_ \-- but he bites his lip, silently urging Liam on with a little tap with his foot to Liam’s ankle. 

“He treated me to nice dinners, bought me nice stuff, but my mum never liked him,” Liam mumbles, as if he’s ashamed of it. 

He shouldn’t be, Louis thinks, fierce in his belief that Liam’s not done anything wrong. If his mum’s anything to have, anything like his own, she’d never think so either. But the fact that Liam’s mum had something against the relationship doesn’t really surprise Louis; how could it when Liam’s seemed so conflicted about him mum, how little he wanted to talk about her but still seemed unable not to. 

“It only got worse when I moved in with him, moved away from her,” he adds, flicking his eyes up to look at Louis. Then he’s back to staring at his hands. At least, he’s not moving away from Louis, or looking uncomfortable to have him there. “She tries calling sometimes, you know.” Louis can hear in his voice that it’s more than sometimes. “I never pick up, though.”

“Why not?” Louis asks, not really able to understand why. 

“I was ashamed, I think.” Liam’s voice is shaking like he’s about to start crying. He soldiers on, though, keeps on talking like it’s not breaking him apart. “At first, it was just little things, like him being mad when I forgot to do the dishes.”

That’s not little things, Louis thinks. He’s unable to stop the image of Liam at sixteen standing in a fancy kitchen, getting screamed at by his boyfriend for such a stupid thing. He keeps quiet, pressing his foot a little bit firmer against Liam, just wanting him to know that he’s listening, even though he says nothing.

Louis is sure he’ll start ranting, or maybe crying if he opens his mouth. He’s not sure which is worst. 

“Then it just kept happening.” Liam frowns, twisting his hands together so hard it must hurt. “I dropped out, you know.” He waits for Louis to nod and hum, even though Liam never told him that before. “For his sake, mostly, but also because I was kind of shit at school.” 

“Weren’t we all,” Louis says, wanting to make Liam feel a little bit better. Louis wasn’t the best student, would never have gone to Uni if it wasn’t for his mum, and for the fact that he knew that the parties would be so much more awesome there than at home.

He also wanted to prove his dad wrong, that also helped a lot when it was hard. 

“He never touched me that first year,” says Liam, shoulders tense and high. “He made me feel like I wasn’t worth anything at all anyway.”

It’s like Liam’s not able to stop, now when he’s started. Louis wants to hug him, tell him that everything’s going to be alright, but instead he hums softly and puts a hand on Liam’s arm, holding there as he waits for the next part, sure it’ll break him to hear the words he knows will come. 

“But then he did, pushed me into a wall when we I talked back.” Liam laughs hollowly, shaking his head once again. It sounds so wrong, like Liam’s laughing at himself when he’s not deserving of anyone’s hate. Least of all his own. “He hit me, and I still thought I could make it better, make him change.”

“Why didn’t you leave?” Louis is pretty sure Liam’s mum would have taken him back, so he can’t make sense of why Liam would stay. 

“I just wanted it to be like it was. Those first months,” Liam says with a small voice, moving his hand around so he can grab onto Louis’ and hold it in a tight grip as he adds, “I didn’t want to fail when it felt like I was the one who was making it the way it was. Somehow I think I convinced it would get better if I were better. If I became the one he wanted me to be.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Liam,” Louis soothes, squeezing Liam’s hand. He’s grateful that Liam wants to touch him, be the one to reach out for maybe the first time. 

Liam shrugs, like he’s maybe starting to see that. Or maybe just agreeing to stop Louis from talking about it. “He never did change, though. Not for long, anyway.”

“But then you left,” Louis says, meaning for it to come out as a question. It doesn’t. He knows that Liam left, he’s there with him in bed after all, but he still wonders why Liam finally did it, after all that time. 

“I did,” Liam agrees, pressing his thumb against Louis’ skin. A bit too hard, but Louis doesn’t mind the bruise that will form there, not when Liam seems to relax more and more, even when his grip on Louis is as steady. “Suddenly you were there, and Niall and Harry too,” he adds the last part, as an afterthought. “He didn’t like that.”

“Liam,” Louis breaks in, not sure he’s able to hear that he made things worse for Liam. Just by being there, wanting to be his friend. 

So much more than that, something Liam’s ex must have known. 

“It got worse. Or it happened more often anyway,” he explains, adding the last part with a small voice. 

Liam’s grip tightens like he’s the one trying to comfort Louis now. When it should be the other way around, but Liam’s strong. So strong to be there with Louis, daring to talk about it even though it sounds like he’s crying, voice breaking more and more. 

“I tried, and I tried, but when it didn’t get better, I couldn’t anymore.”

“Well,” Louis sniffles, not sure when his eyes got so wet. “I’m glad you’re here.” 

“Me too.” Liam drops his hand, suddenly as if he’s just realised he’s touched Louis, without any prompting at all. The blush is back on his otherwise pale face, but he’s smiling shyly so he can’t be too upset about it. 

Louis doesn’t say anything, only flicks a fingertip against Liam’s cheek. In a weird way, he’s happy to have Liam there with him, even though the horrible things that happened to him.

Suddenly Louis is so very tired, unable to suppress a big yawn. Next to him, Liam is lying down again, fluffing the pillow up as he echoes Louis’ yawn. Then he smacks his lips together, seemingly half-asleep as he mumbles something groggily. 

Louis feels a rush of fondness, one that makes it hard for him to drag himself out of bed. Liam being there an even bigger reason for wanting to stay than how nice his bed really is. Liam makes a small noise as he stands up, causing him to look over at Liam at once. 

“You think you could stay here?” Liam says, rushed. Even in the darkness, his cheeks look a bit pink, and he won’t quite look at Louis. “I hate sleeping alone.”

Louis can’t say no, doesn’t even want to. So he nods and gets under the duvet on his side of the bed -- it’s so big that they don’t have to touch, but Liam still shuffles closer, so their feet bump together when he moves. 

It’s a lot easier falling asleep with Liam’s slow breaths next to him. 

\-- -- -- 

The next day, Liam’s up before Louis wakes up. He’s in his own bed, which he hasn’t been the last few days, so he knows sleeping there with Liam wasn’t a dream.

If it was, he’s sure it would have been a lot more fun. More naked, too.

Still rubbing his eyes, the few hours of sleep not enough to make him feel human, he makes his way to the kitchen. He can hear Liam humming to himself, his soft tune matching the hit playing on the radio. 

As soon as Louis makes a too loud noise, bumping his feet against the doorframe, Liam stops singing. It’s a shame, even with the fog still in his head, Louis really liked it. 

“Morning,” he mumbles, nudging Liam with his elbow as he sidles up next to him. He gets a shy smile back, Liam’s curls adorably messy, one so springy that Louis doesn’t think twice to pull at it.

Liam bats his hand away, dragging his fingers through his hair as if that would make it look less like a bird’s nest. A very lovely one that makes Louis itch with need to touch him. 

“You’re so mean to me,” he complains, unable to keep the smile off his face. “And I even made you tea.”

“You made me tea,” Louis grins, first then noticing the tea mug that’s just in front of him. “I love you.” He doesn’t think about what he says, not sure if he really means it -- not yet -- but he _loves_ with the blush high up on Liam’s cheeks, either way, so he’s pleased. 

He doesn’t take it back, winking when Liam stutters out his name like he can’t believe Louis.

It tastes just right, too. The right amount of sugar and no milk. Just like he wants it. 

“You asked Niall about it, didn’t you?” he teases, bumping his hip against Liam’s, unable to stop touching him at every single opportunity he gets. 

He really needs to rein it in; even he can sense that. 

It’s okay when they’re alone, though. Then there is nobody to tease him, unlike at his office. Where they both really should be. But it's too nice there in his kitchen, with Liam looking like he fits right in, Louis doesn’t want to rush out of there.

Liam beams, looking proud that he got it right. Nodding twice in a quick row, he murmurs, “It’s kind of my job now, isn’t it?”

It sort of is, but Louis hired him for more than to make Louis tea. And he certainly didn’t hire him to do his tea when they’re home. 

“Should have Niall teach you that spreadsheet of his,” Louis muses out loud. “That would give him more time to run the place, and me more time to sleep in.” Niall could probably already do that, given the chance. Louis knows it, but so do everybody else at the office.

Niall really should let Louis promote him.

“We should go to work,” Liam suggests, twitching slightly. He’s chewing on his lip, glancing towards the door. “We’re going to be late.”

Louis sighs, taking the mug with him as he follows Liam out the door. The tea is really nice, but Liam looking more rested than the day before, still with the slight puffiness of his skin, it’s what makes him smile into his tea. 

\-- -- --

It’s not until they’re about to go to bed once again, Liam’s eyes sleepy as he shuffles his feet just outside of Louis’ bedroom, that Louis wonders why Liam looks so bothered. 

Things have been going great at the office, Liam’s so willing to learn new things. Happy about everything he’s taught to do, so very eager. There’s those small moments of doubts, times when Louis can see him beating himself up because of the mistake he’s made, no matter how small. It’s still been good, Liam’s at ease with everyone at the office.

How he shrinks into himself, on his way to and from there, makes Louis want to switch office, but that’s not really reasonable. 

He still wants to do it. 

“You think you can,” Liam trails off, hands stuffed deep into the pockets of the joggers Louis borrowed him. The ones Louis already has started to think of as Liam’s. He’s got some of his own stuff, thanks to Harry and Niall -- and Zayn, who was at the office for some reason that’s got to do with Louis’ staff and not Zayn’s work -- picking them up with the key Liam still has. 

He’s still in Louis’ too short joggers, causing Louis to have to sit on his own hands in an attempt not to poke at him too much. It only works about half of the time. 

“Sorry?” Louis mumbles out around a mouthful of toothpaste, slowly dribbling out of his mouth. 

Liam huffs, shifting his weight from foot to foot. He waits, staring at Louis with one arched eyebrow as if he can’t believe that Louis doesn’t get what he wants. “I just want you to sleep with me.”

Liam saying those words, no matter that Louis knows that Liam really means, makes him cough. 

Louis swallows wrong, hacking hard on toothpaste. “Hey,” he says, shaking his head at Liam when he just laughs, looking much more at ease. “Be nice to me, if you want to sleep in my bloody bed.”

“I think I already do anyway,” Liam teases, winking with both his eyes. Not that he could have meant to, because he blushes hotly as soon as he’s done it. 

“Right,” Louis says slowly, loving more than anything when Liam actually teases back, opening up. It makes him feel a bit distracted, makes him smile too wide; the joke wasn’t even very good. 

When it’s dark, the light switched off on both their sides, Liam mumbles out a soft _thanks_ , sounding so grateful that Louis reaches out and pokes him in the cheek. He’s aiming for that, anyway. 

It’s possible that he pokes at Liam’s nose instead, making him snort out a weird giggling sound. 

“Don’t be so bloody nice,” Louis grumbles, too full with fond feelings to do anything else. 

Liam just laughs harder. 

\-- -- --

The next few days, things are more or less the same; Louis goes to work, dragging himself out of bed and getting ready with the least amount of work. 

Only now Liam’s there too, either sleeping soundly next to him in bed or more likely doing something of use somewhere in the flat. Louis can always hear him, the sheets next to him still rumpled, so it’s never long he’s been up.

The tea is different, now Liam’s started to make it for him -- if he’s awake, there’s always a cup of his Yorkshire tea on the bench in the kitchen, still steaming hot like Liam’s just put it there.

“By the way,” Louis says, leading up to something that’s much harder to talk about than tea. Or the latest of the gossip at the office; it’s mainly about the two of them, but Louis hopes Liam doesn’t know that. “Why hasn’t your ex been, you know, here? Or at the office?”

Louis would have thought that would have happened by now; he must know that Liam’s things are gone, so shouldn’t be chasing Liam down? 

Liam shrugs, suddenly a lot more interested in cleaning of the table. “I might have told him I would report him if he came after me.”

“So he did try,” Louis says, not even bothering to phrase it as a question. 

The spot Liam rubs on, where Louis spilled his tea earlier must be spot clean. He keeps rubbing there anyway, his face mostly hidden by his curls. “Yeah,” he agrees, all of him tense and his grip on the dishcloth convulsive. “He must have waited for me, when I was on a coffee run the other day.” 

Taking the cloth from Liam’s hand, he throws it behind himself, not really looking where it lands. With a hand low on Liam’s back, he guides him back from the table and into the living room. 

Liam frowns at where the dishcloth is on the floor but goes easily. It’s like he’s barely holding himself up, shoulder hunched forward, so he’s not visible taller than Louis. 

“You should still file charges, though,” Louis says, giving Liam a gentle push, so he drops down on the sofa. Not waiting for Liam to complain, he sits down too and moves Liam around until they’re in sort sort of half-hug, Liam’s curls up in his nose and one of his arms over Liam’s shoulders. 

They should get to work, but Liam doesn’t say anything about that. Instead, he sighs and shakes his head. “It’s not like I’ve any proof, it’ll only get difficult.” He pauses, tensing like he’s thinking about pulling away. When Louis doesn’t say anything, only waits, he relaxes bit for a bit again. “And I don’t want my mum to know.”

“Still,” Louis murmurs, threading his hand through Liam’s hair, scratching lightly with his nails.

It’s a bit too much, having Liam there just like he wants him, when Liam’s still getting out of a long relationship. So when it feels like he’s about to kiss Liam, just tilt his head up and taste the sweetness of strawberry jam on his lips, he slips his hand down and tickles Liam’s side, over his ribs until he feels Liam twitch away from him, smiling. 

Only so he doesn’t give in and goes for it, ruining the friendship he’d managed to build with Liam.

They’re late, and Liam’s hair is still ruffled, wilder than usual, when they get to work. Liam blushes when Harry whistles at them, but Louis only flips him off. 

\-- -- --

“You know,” Liam says absentmindedly, most of his focus on the racing game they’re playing on the telly. “I should probably move out. Try to find my own flat.”

Louis’ car steers off the road, causing him to huff out an annoyed breath. Not so much at losing, more because he didn’t think it’d take so little time for Liam to want to move out. 

It’s not that he doesn’t want Liam to get better, sleep in a bed without needing to have someone there so he can relax enough to actually sleep. It’s just that he kind of likes having Liam there; it’s nice waking up with him, sleep soft and so sweet that Louis has harder and harder time to pull away when they wake up cuddled too close together. 

He always does, though. Liam’s shown no interest in him that way, so he shouldn’t make things awkward between them just because he wants to smack a kiss against the flush high up on Liam’s cheeks when he once again wakes up with his hands resting on Louis.

“I don’t mind you staying for awhile,” Louis says, shrugging one shoulder lazily where he’s half-lying on one end of the sofa. He pokes Liam with his bare toes, wanting him to start over the game. “It is kind of nice to have a maid.” 

Liam lets out a weak laugh when Louis wiggles his toes, wanting to get some kind of reaction out of Liam. 

“What?” Louis asks, dropping the remote in his lap. He doesn’t like the look on Liam’s face or the stiffness of his shoulders. Most of all he hates that he’s the one that made Liam look that way. 

Liam’s staring very intensely at the telly as he mumbles, “Max used to say that that was the only thing I was good at.” He frowns, the blush on his cheeks not making Louis feel anything but a great need to hug him for hours, until he’s smiling again. If that was what Liam wanted. “That and other things.”

“Well, he’s a jerk,” Louis grumbles, shuffling a little bit closer to Liam. When he gets no reaction, he sighs and moves the rest of the way. “You’ve done great at the office haven't you? Niall certainly says so.”

It’s no lie; Niall’s almost as charmed by Liam as Louis is. 

“And you haven’t slept with him,” he continues, smiling cheekily. “Or are you a part of their strange little triangle now?”

Liam lets out a shocked little giggle, covering his mouth with his hands. There are crinkles around his eyes, though. Louis is pleased with himself. 

When he ruffles Liam’s hair, he gets a weak protest from Liam, but he doesn’t really try to stop him. He seems rather happy about the attention, smiling wide as he drops his remote and pushes gently at Louis’ shoulder. 

“You’re so stupid,” Liam complains, making it sound like anything but an insult. 

He makes another attempt at getting Louis’ hand out of his hair, even though he makes a noise that almost sounds like a sigh when Louis rubs his thumb along Liam’s hairline. 

By the time they’re done the push and pull fight they have about Louis trying to make a mess of Liam’s hair, Liam’s got his hand in a tight grip. Neither makes an attempt to pull away, sitting there and grinning at each other while they’re sort of holding hands. 

Liam keeps sneaking these little glances at Louis, looking shy and yet keen. It’s confusing when Louis up until then was so very sure about Liam not caring for him that way. 

If he weren't sure that Niall would tease him forever, he’d ask him. 

\-- -- --

Louis is ready for Liam to move out.

 _No_ , he isn’t, but he’s frustrated. Liam’s so very lovely, and it’s the worst thing Louis has ever had to endure. That includes the awkwardness after he lost his virginity to someone he didn’t even like. 

Liam’s there all the time, sometimes not even wearing a shirt. The first time he stumbled up from a nap, tired after his early morning jog, Louis almost spilled his tea on himself. Luckily he managed not to make a complete fool out of himself. It’s just that Liam’s not been comfortable showing the slightest of skin before, wearing at least a longsleeved t-shirt even to bed. 

Louis wasn’t prepared to see all that skin so early in the morning.

Louis has a feeling that Liam didn’t want Louis to see the blue and red marks Max left on his body, ashamed even though he knows that Louis doesn’t think it’s his fault. The bruises are all healed healed now, except for that one scar that sits low on Liam’s side, caused by a fight so horrible that it made Liam move home for a week. Louis does know, after having asked about it -- not without trouble getting the words out -- that Liam never told his mum why he was back. 

If only for a few days. 

Still, he must have been flushed down his stomach so hard he was blushing. Not only because of how embarrassing -- and painful -- it would have been to drop the tea on himself. 

Right now, Louis isn’t sure where to look. Liam’s wearing a new pair of joggers, and while Louis’ pair was too tiny for him, these -- they’re making it hard for him look at Liam without blushing. They just sit so low on hips, the v-cut of his hipbones making Louis scowl into his tea mug. 

Liam’s just standing there washing the plates from the morning, humming softly to himself. He could wear a shirt; Louis is, and he’s not warm. Louis would tell him if Liam just didn’t fit so well into his kitchen, in his home.

The dip of his lower back as he twists his head around to grin at Louis, for no real reason, makes Louis want to rest his head on the table, eyes closed. Just until he can make himself stop looking. Liam being there, just being _himself_ , makes Louis want a wank; one that’s not in the shower with Liam’s somewhere just outside the door. It’s hard sharing a bed with Liam when he can’t really do anything but curl a little closer when they’re both hazy with sleep, and it’s easier to wave off afterwards. 

He’s really not been as easily turned on since his teens, just the slightest touch from Liam making him feel shivery all over. It’s really got to stop. 

“Harry thinks I should date this bloke he knows,” Liam says, wiping his hands on the light grey joggers. The movement pulls them tighter around the tiny swell of his arse, and it takes Louis too long to realise what he’s saying. 

“Oh,” Louis breathes out, not sure what to say. Harry does know about his little crush -- or not so little, since living with Liam makes it harder not to be in love with him, no matter how scary that is -- so why he’d do such a thing, Louis can’t understand. 

Liam’s just looking at him, twisting a curl around his finger as he waits. When Louis doesn’t say anything, he sighs, and his shoulders slump forward. “You think that’s a good idea?” 

“I don’t know,” Louis says, honestly. He’s not sure it’s a good idea, not only because he knows it’ll be terrible to see Liam being happy with someone else. But he _does_ want Liam to be happy, so maybe he should say yes. 

Something stops him from doing so. 

“It’s not like I’m going to break,” Liam mutters, glaring at him. It mostly makes him look like a mad puppy, but Louis can’t even giggle and poke fun at him for being so adorable; he’s too confused. 

The chair makes a screeching sound as he pushes it back, stands up and takes a few quick steps towards Liam. “I didn’t say that,” he says, voice tilting up like a question. Now when he’s right in front of Liam, he’s unsure of why he even moved, what he should do with his hands. “If so I’m sorry, alright?”

Liam sighs again. “No, you’re right. But you act like it.”

“If anything you’re stronger than all of us. You’ve come out of all of that, still being a lovely boy, so bloody trusting,” Louis murmurs, rubbing a soothing hand up and down Liam’s arm. It’s not until he feels how warm and soft Liam’s skin is, he realises Liam’s still not wearing a shirt. 

So close to him, it’s hard pulling his hand back. 

Louis clears his throat, puts his hands in the pockets of his loose joggers. From the size of them, it must be Liam’s. They’re too big to be anything he bought for himself.

Liam smiles, small and private. “I called my mum.” He looks happier talking about her than Louis ever seen him, with crinkles around his eyes and nose scrunched up. “She really likes you.”

“She likes me?” Louis asks, baffled that she knows about him. Even more by the fact that she likes him apparently. 

Liam blushes, scratching the back of his neck. He won’t quite look Louis in the eyes, eyes trained somewhere on Louis’ chest, but he’s still smiling. “I might have talked about you. A bit.”

“You’ve talked about me,” Louis echoes, grinning as he pokes a finger into Liam’s side. “You mean you’ve told her how awesome I am.” His tone is light and teasing, and Liam flailing as Louis pokes him again causes him to grin harder. 

“Yeah, I have,” Liam agrees, all pink-cheeked and happy. 

Not sure what to make of all the emotions in his chest, Louis grabs the water bottle that Liam’s left on the counter. He’s always leaving stuff all over the place, and still he likes to tell Louis that he’s messy. Liam’s totally unsuspecting as Louis empties it over Liam’s head, water dripping from his curls down to his now _wet_ chest. 

Liam blinks several times, looking from Louis’ face to the water bottle in his hand. He looks at loss for words. 

“Um,” Louis says, unintelligently. He doesn’t get long to think about an explanation since Liam turns around to scoop some water from the running water tap. 

Soon they’re both dripping, laughing as they manage to get water on both themselves and the floor. 

\-- -- --

Liam’s in the kitchen, making sure that they’ve everything they need. The lads are coming over for a quiet -- or as quiet as it ever will get with all of them in a room -- movie night, and they should be there any minute. 

If they’re not late again, with their clothes obviously wrinkled. 

Harry and Niall are the two people that he used to have over. Even before they were dating it felt kind of being the third wheel, no matter how much both they tried to do everything to avoid that. They weren’t even fucking then. Now when they’re dating, not just flirting weirdly with each other, they’re even worse, always all over each other. 

Even at the most inappropriate times. 

Zayn’s supposed to come too, not that he’s making it better really. He’s almost as bad as they are, only a little bit more likely to be pulled into a hushed conversation with Liam. Most often with a hand high up on Harry’s thigh, close to being on his dick 

Liam’s been so happy all day, smiling sweetly as he brushed past him in the hall just before Louis locked himself in the bathroom. Liam’s been touchier than usual, Louis not sure how to handle him with a few beers in him, if he’s going to be able to stop himself from kissing Liam. 

When he gets out, his hair styled into a carefree mess, Liam’s hugging Zayn hello. It takes a long time, Zayn’s eyes glinting mischievously as he looks at Louis over Liam’s shoulder. Suddenly Louis very curious about what they say, but before he can ask, Harry nudges Zayn out of the way and wraps Liam up in a hug. 

“He looks great,” Zayn says with a quiet voice. “Liam, I mean.”

“You already have two boyfriends,” Louis says, arching one eyebrow skeptically. “Maybe you should hit a little less on Liam so they won’t get jealous.”

Zayn looks amused, the tip of his tongue peeking out between his lips as he smiles. “I think it’s someone else who’s jealous.” 

“What?” Louis crosses his arms over his chest. He’s not really jealous; he just thinks that Liam shouldn’t date Zayn. Or anyone else for that matter. “Don’t be dumb.”

“He does look cute, though,” Zayn insists, patting him on the back. When Louis only huffs, he grins and walks into Louis’ flat.

Louis watches as Niall switches place with Harry, hugging Liam softer but just as long. He lets Harry hug him, mumbling something about dumb boys into his long hair. He means Zayn, so not himself. 

“Let’s get this movie thing going, yeah,” Niall says, smacking a kiss on Harry’s cheek. When they look like they’re about to snog, eyes fixated on each other’s mouths, Louis pulls out of Harry’s arms. 

“That could have gotten weird,” Louis murmurs, pulling at the fabric of Liam’s soft blue sweater; the one Louis managed to convince Liam that Louis should buy him as a moving in present. 

No matter that it was weeks late and they hadn’t officially decided that Liam should stay there. 

Liam hums, nodding. “Yeah,” he agrees, wiggling his eyebrows a lot like Harry. The small smirk on his lips reminds Louis an awful lot about Harry too. “There are other people you could snog, though.”

“Zayn?” Louis asks, voice almost a squeak. Clearing his throat, he pushes gently on Liam’s shoulder and shakes his head. “Don’t think those two losers would have liked that.”

He doesn’t understand why Niall’s laughing so hard, suddenly wheezing as he tries to get enough air into his lungs. Without Harry holding him up, he would probably not be able to stand up even.

Somehow he just knows that Niall’s giggling at him, so he’s quick to find something to lob at Niall’s head. Then it’s not long until he’s got both Harry and Niall working against him, taking turns at hitting him with everything they find near them that’s not too hard or heavy. 

It takes awhile for them to calm down. When they do, Zayn and Liam are deep in a quiet conversation on the sofa. 

It doesn’t look like they even notice that Niall’s got a flower in his hair. Louis not sure if it’s him that managed to hit Niall with it, or if it’s Harry who put it there. 

\-- -- --

After the movie, Louis goes to get a few more beers from the fridge. He starts badly when _someone_ taps his shoulder, and the bottles almost slip from his fingers. It’s a near thing, and he can almost see the shreds of glass, mixed with sticky beer on the floor. 

“Fuck,” Louis mumbles, gripping the bottles harder as he turns to Harry. “Why did you do that?”

Harry doesn't answer his question, ignoring it totally as he says, “So, Liam said something interesting.”

 _He does all the time_ , Louis thinks, stopping himself from blurting it out because of how soppy it sounds even in his own head. “Like that’s new,” he says, realising too late that it’s basically the same thing. 

Harry leans against the counter, his shoulder are shaking slightly, but he’s not laughing. It’s a close thing, though. “No,” he says slowly, dragging the word out. “About him sleeping in your bed.”

Louis puts three of the bottles on the counter, opening one for himself. It just feels like he’ll need it with the way Harry’s smirking knowingly at him. “Yeah, yeah,” he says, taking a sip of beer as he tries to think of something to say to that. “We’re just two mates who share a bed. I’m too old to sleep on the sofa, and Liam isn’t allowed to.”

Harry gives him a baffled look, raising his eyebrows. More than anything he looks amused, and it sounds like he’s about to start laughing as he says, “You’ve plenty of space in this flat. You could have just made someone decorate a guest room for you, if you’re too lazy to do it yourself.” 

Louis opens his mouth but can’t come up with one good argument. It’s not a common feeling for him, and it makes him feel like stomping his foot and complain about something loudly. Harry would only laugh at him, though. He’s been meaning to decorate a guest room since he moved in, mostly for the sake of his mum and sisters, but it’s never happened. And still it took him weeks to come to the conclusion that it’d be a great idea to do it now that he’s got a roommate. 

Not that it was _him_ who did, really. 

They’ve not talked about it. Louis doesn’t even know if Liam wants to share a bed anymore. If he needs to.

It’s not just him who’s been ignoring to talk about it. Liam could have asked Louis to move into one of the empty rooms, a mattress on the floor would have been better than the sofa. But Liam’s not said a word about it. Maybe it’s something he should think more about when Harry’s not waiting for him to say something.

“Even then,” Louis decides, shrugging like it’s nothing. 

“If you say so,” Harry grins. He doesn’t move from his spot, not done with Louis.

Louis is suddenly unable to stop thinking that Liam might have been flirting with him before, that he meant that Louis should kiss him. Not Zayn.

He shakes his head as Harry laughs at him, winking when Louis continues not to agree with him. 

Harry hums with a thoughtful look on his face. “I still say that boy wants you.”

“You’re the one who said he should date,” says Louis, wincing when it comes out a bit harsh. He’s not mad, not at Harry and not at Liam either. 

It’s not Liam’s problem that Louis is more than a little bit in love with him. 

“What?” Harry mumbles, eyes widening; it makes him look even more confused, eyebrows drawn together. 

“Liam told me that you did,” Louis huffs, still not too pleased about it. 

Glancing towards the living room, where they can still hear Liam laughing at Niall, Harry laughs too. “You should think about who that bloke would be,” he nudges Louis with his hip as he walks past him on his way back. He stops to take one of the beers, more likely to Niall than to himself. “I can’t imagine many people I would want our Liam to date.”

Harry’s still laughing when he leaves Louis in the kitchen, mind sorting through the blokes Harry might set Liam up with. Harry does know a lot of people, but none of them feels quite right when it comes to Liam. 

Louis can’t think of one person. Not unless Harry’s talking about him.

He’s not able to stop thinking about if Harry meant him even when they’ve gone to bed, Liam still bubbling happy after the night. But when Liam presses his cold toes against Louis’ bare ankle, and Louis smiles back, it doesn't feel like it matters all that much. 

Not when he’s got Liam there with him. 

\-- -- --

Louis has been stressed all day; he likes his job, so much the extra hours never have been a problem. 

But this day is one of those when nothing runs smoothly. He started the day with having a fight with Zayn over nothing, really; it was petty and they were both tired. It didn’t last long, the tense feeling at the office, Harry pouting at him and Niall’s sad little glances from behind his desk made Louis feel bad. Enough to send Zayn a text with an apology for being a dick. 

Now when that’s over, he’s still behind on all the things he should get done. 

Liam’s been acting weird, restless as he comes to ask Louis if he needs anything. More often than he needs to, really. Louis can’t drink more tea, Liam’s already been on two coffee runs, and Louis is all set for his meeting later. 

“No,” Louis mumbles, most of his focus on his laptop. “Thank you anyway,” he adds with afterthought. When the door clicks shut, he blinks at Liam, confused. “You need anything?”

Liam’s biting at his lovely, pink bottom lip. His words come out in a jumbled mess as he asks, “Why do you never kiss me?”

“What?” Louis blurts out, slamming his laptop shut a little bit too hard. His voice is higher than usual, almost shrill. He’s pretty sure Liam asked him about kissing, but he must have worked too hard. Liam can’t be asking him _that_. 

Liam’s cheeks are bright pink. “Yeah,” he says slowly. “I just thought you wanted to, maybe. You’ve been kind of,” he trails off, the blush on his cheeks deepening even more. “You’ve been staring at my lips.”

Now it’s Louis who blushes; he might have been staring, but he didn’t think Liam had noticed. “I didn’t think you wanted me to.” Louis leans back in his chair, pushing back from the desk a little bit. “You’ve never said anything.”

“I did,” Liam insists, bottom lip jutting out in a pout.

Louis frowns, trying to think back to what time Liam could have said that. He comes up blank. “I would have kissed you if you asked me to,” he says, a warm swoop spreading in his stomach when Liam bites his lip and takes a quick step forward.

When he’s about to drop into Louis’ lap, he stops, like he just then realised what he was about to do. 

“I do want you to kiss me,” Liam says, voice not much more than as whisper. As if it’s a secret just for the two of them. 

Louis pulls at Liam’s hand, tugging him down, so he sits sideways on his lap. Liam’s squirming, at first, moving around until he’s nestled closer to Louis. He doesn’t let go of Louis’ hand the whole time. 

When Liam kisses him, it’s soft and sweet. Just a slow push of Liam’s lips against his, Liam leaning closer as his hand squeezes Louis’ tight. Liam makes a soft sound in the back of his throat as Louis opens his mouth, slipping the tip of his tongue along the seam of Liam’s lips. 

Louis’ heart is beating hard in his chest, his hand a little sweaty but he still doesn’t let go of Liam’s hand. 

Liam grins as he pulls away, blushing as Louis rubs his free thumb over Liam’s bottom lip, slicker and warmer than before. 

Louis’ breath catches when he thinks about how lovely and swollen Liam’s lips will be when Louis is done with him. The next kiss, Louis pushes his tongue into Liam’s mouth, teasing Liam to kiss him back with tiny flicks. It doesn’t take long until the kisses make Louis’ whole skin feel hot, his breath speeding up. 

At some point, he slips one hand up under Liam’s shirt, resting it on the bare skin where Liam’s back dips as he arches into Louis. Liam’s not still anymore, not waiting for things to go wrong. He makes such sweet noises, tiny little moans that make Louis want to push and push until Liam’s begging him to do something.

They’re both turned on, Louis’ cock straining a bit against his jeans and the way Liam’s twitching in his lap so obvious. Louis still keeps his hand on Liam’s back, just tracing his fingers back and forth on Liam’s skin. 

They pull apart when someone opens the door, a very familiar laugh making Liam hide his face against Louis’ neck. Louis can feel how hot his skin is, how hard he’s blushing from being caught. 

“Not to disturb,” Harry grins, clapping his hands together. “But we’ve a meeting, Louis.”

“Right,” Louis says slowly. He pats Liam’s back, mumbling soft words against his hair that’s only said to soothe him, make sure that he knows it’s alright.

That Louis is happy to have him there. 

Louis smacks a soft kiss against Liam’s lips as Liam lifts his head, looking sheepish. “We can continue this at home.”

Liam nods, so fast Louis almost misses it, glancing towards Harry, who’s still standing there with the door wide open. When Harry raises his eyebrows, the blush on his cheeks spreads, and he climbs off Louis’ lap. 

He’s still smiling, though. 

\-- -- -- 

Liam’s been sneaking little glances at him all day, his eyes filled with a mix of shyness and eagerness. But when they, finally, are on their own, after a ride back to Louis’ flat on a packed tube, he won’t quite look at Louis. 

The takeaway menu in his hands can’t be that interesting, so Louis guesses he’s nervous. 

“We don’t have to do this,” Louis says, not really sure what _this_ really contains. If it’s just sex or something more. He’s willing to take whatever Liam’s offering him, after all. 

Liam’s head pops up, eyes blinking rapidly as he gapes at Louis. “But I _want_ to.” He sounds stubborn, like the pout in near to break free any second. “You know that.”

Louis nods, taking the menu out of Liam’s hands and putting it on the counter. Kissing Liam seems more important than food, so he leans forward and crowds closer to Liam, pressing him back until he’s against the counter with Louis’ front flush against his. 

He’s so close he can hear Liam swallow hard and he strokes his fingers along Liam’s neck, using his grip to pull Liam into a kiss. It’s almost better this time, Liam’s mouth opening under his as if they’d done it times and times before. 

It feels both familiar and new at once. 

At some point, Louis’ hands find their way into Liam’s hair, curling a little bit harder when Liam whines into his mouth. 

When they pull apart, Liam’s lips are shiny and full, his eyes dark as he stares at Louis. 

“I’m fine with anything you want,” Louis murmurs, shivering when Liam’s hand traces the skin just above the waistband of his jeans. 

With Liam’s hips snug against his, it’s easy to feel how they jerk forward, Liam’s whole body tense as he mumbles out something that Louis can’t say exactly what it is.

“What did you say?” It’s teasing and soft, Louis dragging his hands down until he’s pulling at Liam’s shirt, tugging one button open at the time. He just needs more skin under his hands, the black, red checkered shirt Liam’s been wearing at work covering up all that skin Louis wants to mark with his mouth. 

Liam takes a shaky breath when Louis slips his finger down Liam’s bare chest, the fit tight because of how he doesn’t want to pull away from Liam. When Louis lifts one eyebrow, he says, “Anything is fine with me too.”

It sounds like he means it, voice rough but strong. Louis groans, squeezing his eyes together for a second as he imagines Liam underneath him, begging Louis to let him come while being fucked into the sheets. 

There’re so many things he wants to do; he wants to fuck Liam and get fucked by him, but first he wants to get his mouth on him. He doesn’t hesitate, dropping to his knees with a small wince when his kneecaps hit the floor. Liam’s grabbing after him at first, but then his mouth forms a pretty O-shape as he understands, fingers quickly finding their way into Louis’ hair. 

“You don’t have to,” Liam groans out when Louis’ hands brush over his crotch, working on getting his jeans open as quickly as possible. His hands shake, so it takes a few tries.

Louis snort out a laugh, raising his eyebrows. “I want to suck your cock, love.”

Liam moans, biting his lip hard afterwards as if he wants to keep the noise in. When Louis drags his jeans down, fingers dipped into Liam’s boxers, so they come off too, Liam lets out a groan, but his teeth dig into his lip so hard it must be painful. 

Liam’s cock is hard, straining up towards his stomach. The pink tip is shiny with precome; foreskin pulled back. Louis is tempted to poke his tongue out, lick the slickness away, but he needs to say one thing first. 

“And I want to hear you pretty little moans,” Louis teases, wanting to make sure that Liam knows he doesn’t have to hold back. Not with him. 

Liam makes another noise, louder when Louis nips lightly at the pale skin high up on his thigh.

Louis fits his mouth a little bit higher, sucking at the sensitive skin until he knows there will be a pink love bite; Liam’s moving under him, breathing heavily as his cock goes ignored, bumping against Louis’ cheek as he moves to nuzzle Liam’s hip.

“Get on with it, please,” Liam pleads, hips twitching as Louis wraps his hand around Liam’s cock. 

When Liam’s such a good boy, asking him for it, voice all eager and sure, Louis can’t say no. Can’t tease him any longer even when he wants to in a way, liking how Liam’s getting more and more needy. 

Louis grins up at Liam, fitting his lips around the head of Liam’s cock. He sucks shallowly, at first, keeping the pressure light. Liam’s so very still under his hands; one fitted loosely around the base of Liam’s cock and the other on one of his hip.

When he presses closer, Liam’s cock is heavy on his tongue, the girth stretching his lips wider as he takes him deeper. It’s messy and wet, precome dragging at the top of his mouth, and saliva wetting his chin as he fails to swallow properly. 

Liam keeps making the loveliest little moans, fingers just holding onto Louis’ hair as Louis sucks on the head, glancing up Liam. Seeing how pink Liam’s cheeks are, eyes glazed over, he takes him as far as he can.

“Fuck,” Liam blurts out, hips pushing forward and fingers twining harder in Louis’ hair. His cock blurts out precome on Louis’ tongue; it’s so obvious that he’s close, about to come even. 

Louis sucks harder, moving his hand from Liam’s cock to his hip so he can take him deeper, swallow around him as his cock jerks and starts to pulse out wet stripes of come. Louis waits him out, his own cock throbbing in jeans as Liam moans above him. 

Letting Liam’s cock slip from his lips, he wipes a hand over his mouth. He wants to come, needs a hand on him, but he’s even more interested in getting Liam to come again. 

Shifting around a little, his limbs strains uncomfortable, but that’s secondary when he still can feel Liam on his tongue, taste the heady saltiness deep in his mouth. 

Liam looks blissed out, but there’s a small pout on his lips. He looks disgruntled even when he’s just come. “I didn’t mean to come,” he says, one hand patting uselessly at Louis’ cheek. “You were just too good.”

Louis laughs, patting Liam’s hip before getting up from the floor. “I’m going to make you come again. Don’t worry.”

Liam moans softly, body jolting like he can’t keep still. He falls into Louis as soon as he’s up on his feet, so desperate Louis almost tumbles backwards. Liam kisses him deeply, as if he wants to kiss the taste of himself right out of Louis’ mouth. 

Louis laughs as Liam protests, trying to capture Louis’ lips once more when he pulls away. “Just thought we should take this to the bedroom.”

Liam nods but pushes forward to snog Louis once more, sneaking his hand between them so he can press his hand against Louis’ cock, just feeling it out. Louis has to close his eyes for a moment, trying to find one reason not just to let Liam wank him off there, have a quick orgasm and then fall asleep there on the floor.

He’s sure he’d not be on his feet long enough afterwards to move to the bed. 

Instead, he takes Liam’s hand, dragging him after himself to the bedroom. The arm he’s got free, he uses to pull his t-shirt over his head, laughing when it catches, him still holding onto Liam’s hand.

As soon as they’re in the bedroom, he slips Liam’s shirt off him, pushing him back into the bed. Then he proceeds to take his own clothes off, smirking when he catches Liam staring openly at his cock. Teasing a finger along it, thumbing over the tip, he asks, “You want some cock, love?”

He doesn’t expect Liam to nod so keenly, or the small moan he lets out. 

Louis bends down to pull the tight jeans all the way off, glad he’s not wearing any socks; it always makes him feel weird, being in socks and nothing else. Before he climbs up on the bed, he plucks lube and a condom from his drawer. Liam’s not said the words yet, but he seems to want it, spreading his legs for Louis as he leans back on the bed, cheeks flushed. 

He won’t look away from Louis, though. Gaze following his every move. 

Louis sits down on his knees next to Liam, taking in all of him; stomach heaving and his cock half-hard, sticky with come and saliva from Louis’ mouth. He really is a lot, so pretty that Louis feels breathless. 

“You want me to finger you open and then fuck you?” Louis skims his hand down Liam’s stomach, trailing his fingers over the skin just above his cock. “Stuff your arse full with cock and make you come again?” 

“Fuck yes,” Liam blurts out, hips lifting off the bed as he tries to get closer to Louis’ hand. “Please just do it.”

Louis groans, taking his hand off of Liam so he can squeeze the base of his own cock. When he feels like he’s not about to come, just from hearing Liam beg for it, he grabs the lube he dropped on the bed.

“Want to roll over for me, babe?” Louis asks, wetting two of his fingers with lube. The sheets get sticky too, since he doesn’t stop looking at Liam. 

Liam’s shaky, clumsy as he does as Louis says. He’s so wanting, the dip of his back prettily bowed and his arse tilted up towards Louis. 

Slipping one finger into Liam, just until the first knuckle, he first feels Liam tense up. But then he quickly relaxes into it, pulling himself up, so he’s resting his weight on his elbows, a moan slipping out between his swollen lips as he moves even more into Louis’ hand, making the finger slide a little bit deeper.

The slide so slick and easy that Louis groans and fuck in a little bit harder the next time. 

“Wanted this for so long,” Liam admits, craning his head around so he can smile shyly at Louis. It’s a strange mix, how cock-eager he is, even when he’s shy and sweet. It makes Louis want to absolutely ruin him, make him come so many times that he forgets his name.

“Me too,” Louis agrees, distracted by the sight of Liam’s rim clutching tight around his finger. “Wanted you since we met that time, in the hall you know.”

Liam looks baffled, his hips just twitching slightly as he stills. Louis can see how hard he concentrates, the small wrinkle between his eyebrows. 

“Really?” Liam asks, voice shaky.

Louis nods, working his finger into Liam once more. Using one hand to push Liam’s cheeks apart so that he can see the pink stretch of Liam’s rim around his finger. “Really.” 

When he’s got two fingers in Liam, he’s moving restlessly on the bed, so loud and open with his want. 

“You feel so good around my fingers,” Louis murmurs hotly, changing the angle slightly. “Can’t wait to get my dick in your sweet little bum.”

“Please,” Liam moans, pushing himself back, almost riding the fingers in his arse. “I want that too. Want to feel you.”

Louis pulls his fingers out, but only to add more lube, sliding his fingers together as he spreads it around. When he fits three fingers against Liam’s hole, pressing them in with a slow push, he mumbles, “Just a little bit more.”

Liam looks like he wants to protest, beg for more, but as Louis’ fingertips rub against his prostate, only a strangled noise comes out instead. Louis grins dirtily, fingers Liam’s harder and keeps it up for such a long time that they’re both sweating. 

“Just a little bit more takes too long,” Liam whines. Louis kind of agrees, but it’s hard to stop when Liam’s so obviously into it. 

Liam’s rolling his hips down, rocking against the bed and then up against Louis’ fingers. He really needs a cock in him, and Louis isn’t one to say no to that. 

Louis can’t believe how lucky he is.

In a way, he wants to just straddle Liam’s hips and push into him, fuck him into the bed, but he also wishes to see Liam’s face. 

“Want to ride me, babe?” he asks, pausing with his fingers shoved all the way in. He can feel Liam’s arse clench a little bit tighter around him. 

“Yes,” Liam mumbles, nodding. As soon as Louis pulls his fingers out of him, Liam’s up on his hands and knees, ready to climb up into Louis’ lap. He’s hard once more, cock bobbing as he leans into Louis. 

His fingers are slippery with lube when he puts the condom on, making Liam giggle as he drops it twice. With a little push from Liam’s hands on his chest, he lies back on the bed, smiling cheekily up at Liam. 

“Get up here, Liam,” he teases, voice strained. “Don’t understand why it’s taking so long.”

Liam shakes his head, looking painfully fond as he rolls his eyes. “Maybe I should tease you now,” he mumbles, fitting his hand around Louis’ cock. He holds still, raises one eyebrow at Louis. “Maybe suck you. Or use my hand, until you’re ready to come just from it.”

It sounds like he’s thinking out loud, his voice catching in the back of his throat as he moves his thumb on the dick in his hand. 

Louis moans when Liam’s hand twists around him. “Or you could let me fuck you,” he suggests, nodding towards his lap with a small smirk. “Just like you said you wanted.”

Liam breathes out a giggle, pushing himself up over Louis. He pauses, holding himself steady over Louis’ cock. “Or I could do that.”

Liam’s mouth, pink and open as Louis’ cock slides against his arse, slipping over his hole as he rides against it, causes Louis cock to blurt out precome. Both of them a bit lost at that feeling, but then Liam stops, pausing for a moment with Louis’ cockhead pressed against his hole.

It’s just for him to sink down then.

Then the head of his cock pops into Liam’s arse, squeezing him so tight that he’s sure he’s never felt something so lovely; it makes him fight to keep still. But he does, letting Liam set the pace, working Louis’ cock into himself with tiny rolls of his hips. 

“Gosh,” Liam groans out, leaning his hands on Louis’ chest as he takes a shaky breath. Louis is fully in him now, cock throbbing as Liam sets a slow pace, at first, lifting up so only the head of his cock holds him open and then rocking down, causing their skin to slap together wetly. 

“Can you come again?” Louis asks, using his hands on Liam’s hips to pull him down on his cock. When Liam nods, head lolling back as he fucks down harder on Louis’ cock, Louis believes him.

Liam’s cock is rock hard, dribbling shiny precome that smears on his stomach as it slaps up against his belly. 

When Liam comes once more, Louis is hand wrapped around him and his cock working up into him in hard pushes. He’s shuddering his way through it, dropping forward on Louis’ chest, as he begs Louis for more. For him to keep fucking him. 

Louis can’t hold on for much longer after that. Can’t believe that he did in the first place when Liam’s arse is so tight and lovely, fluttering around him as Liam’s cock pulses out thick stripes of come, wetting his stomach. 

His moans are muffled by Liam’s mouth, kissing him wetly as he rolls his hips lazily. 

When they’re both cleaned off, the flannel tossed to the floor, Louis curls up against Liam’s side. Louis kisses Liam’s chest, one firm press of lips just above where he just cleaned Liam off. When Liam hums softly, he pinches the nipple closest to his fingers.

“Hey,” Liam complains, one hand coming up clumsily to take hold of Louis’ hand. “Be nice.”

Louis smiles, sure it comes out too soft and fond. “I’m nice.”

Liam’s eyes squeeze together, the smile on his lips softening too. “You really are,” he mumbles, yawning half-way through. “The way you’ve just let me move in here, and everything else.”

“So we can say you live here now?” Louis asks, tired and slow.

Liam’s shoulders shrug upwards, making Louis let go of his hand so he can swat at Liam’s chest, gently. Just so he knows that Louis is displeased, he was so very cosy with Liam’s chest warm under his cheek. 

“I guess so,” Liam agrees, staying still so Louis can snuggle closer to him again. “I just don’t want it to be like it was with Max.”

Louis’ stomach always hurts when he thinks about Liam with Max, and it’s not because he’s jealous like he was before he knew what was going on with Liam. 

“I want to pay rent,” Liam says, just as Louis is about to ask what he can do besides being a decent human, the least you can expect from a partner.

Louis lifts his head, finding Liam looking like he’s not taking no for an answer. He’s sleepy and soft, but the look in his eyes is firm. “Fine,” he sighs, already thinking about ways he can convince Liam to let him give him a bigger paycheck.

It’s not like Louis’ flat in cheap. But Louis can understand Liam’s need to be independent of him. 

“Good,” Liam agrees, sounding like he didn’t expect Louis to accept so easily. 

It doesn’t take long for them to fall asleep, Liam’s soft snuffles familiar but the hand he’s got on Louis’ lower back, fingertips resting on his bare arse new. 

\-- -- --

Louis wakes up to someone singing, the voice clear and lovely even when it’s not in the same room. Listening as Liam hits a high note, so clear -- practiced -- that Louis get confused for a moment; he knows it must be Liam. There really can’t be someone else when there’s no background music, just the constant murmur of Liam’s voice rushing over him. 

That Liam could sing doesn’t come as a shock to him. Liam’s often mumbled along to whatever music that is on, not able to help himself. 

Liam’s never sounded like this, so it’s clear he’s been holding himself back even when he’s not quieting down altogether as soon as Louis comes near him anymore. Far from it. He probably doesn't know that Louis is awake - which he barely is this time, really. His brain feels slow and his body sore still, so it takes him a couple of minutes to move from his warm, comfortable spot in bed. 

His limbs ache in the best possible way, thighs straining as he stretches, hands above his head. He’d been worried about Liam not being in bed with him, after their first night together if he couldn’t smell the waffles from the kitchen. 

Louis shrugs as he pulls on the same joggers as he wore the day before, not bothering to put any boxers on. He plans on dragging Liam back to bed as soon as they’re done with eating breakfast anyway. 

He doesn’t mean sneak up on Liam, but he’s just so cute Louis can’t help it. He doesn’t want him to stop swaying his hips as he takes a couple of plates out of the cupboard before he goes to put a freshly baked waffle on one of them.

Louis is totally caught up in Liam, leaning against the doorframe with a grin on his lips. 

The singing stops when Louis comes up and wraps his arms around Liam's stomach, chin resting on his shoulder. 

“Oh,” Liam says, flushing prettily as he cranes his neck so he can smile at Louis. “Didn’t know that you’re awake. I was going to surprise you with breakkie.” He pouts as he says the last part, like it wasn’t his -- very impressive, but loud -- singing that woke Louis up. 

“It looks like you’re almost ready,” Louis mumbles into Liam’s neck, pleased when Liam’s breath hitches. “Let’s eat and then go back to bed, yeah?”

Liam shivers as Louis slides a little lower on Liam’s stomach. Then he nods, twisting around in Louis’ arms so he can press a firm but quick kiss on his lips. He does it once more, only stays a bit longer and kisses him harder, nipping gently at Louis’ bottom lip when he pulls away. 

It feels like some sort of payback. More so when Liam laughs as he pulls out of Louis’ grip and takes the plate to the table. 

“Sounds good,” he says, winking. Only he uses both his eyes, so unsmooth and adorable that Louis laughs and shakes his head, much more delighted than he probably should be. 

They’re half-way through the breakfast, waffles tasting amazing even though they’re slightly burned and from a mix that must be way past the expiring date -- Louis can’t even remember buying it -- when Liam stops eating. 

“What?” Louis asks, still with his mouth full. Then quickly chewing and swallowing the waffles down as he tries to pretend he just didn’t do that. 

Liam’s not paying attention, or he’s so used to living with Louis already that he doesn’t notice. “Aren’t we supposed to go to work?” 

Well, it’s a Tuesday, so Liam’s right. “We can be a little bit late. No worries.”

Liam looks happy with the answer, 

They’re more than a little late when they get to the office. Niall frowns as they come in holding hands because there’s a meeting Louis _might_ have missed , but it only lasts for a second. Then he grins, shouting loudly to Harry -- who’s not even in the same room.

Louis didn’t expect him to be quiet about it, but he also didn’t expect all of his employees to find out about him and Liam the minute they walked in. 

If so, they probably shouldn’t hold hands.

It’s not like they’re trying to hide that they’re now dating. Only without having been on a date yet. Louis really need to do something about that. 

\-- -- --

Days later he’s still trying to figure out the perfect date to take Liam on. They’ve sort of done a lot of date like things already, he realises. Like the time they rented bikes, or all the movie nights they’ve had together.

Movie and a dinner feels too little, considering how much he wants Liam as his boyfriend. Though, they’re already living together and sleeping in the same bed, so he probably should worry a lot less about it.

Maybe he shouldn’t worry about it when he’s working, but it’s only Zayn there. He knows why Louis is a bit lofty at the moment, smiling to himself as soon as Liam hurries past his room.

“So,” says Zayn, looking amused. “Niall did say that you’re dating now. It’s about fucking time, with the way the two of you’ve been making eyes at each other.” 

“Like you’ve anything to say,” Louis grumbles, so used to Zayn being at the office that he’d think that Zayn was actually working there. “The way you’re with Harry and Niall.”

Zayn smirks, plucking with his fingers at the shoelace on his black combat boots, ankle resting on his knee. “We fucked, like the first week. So I think I’m a bit better than you are at making progress.”

Louis huffs and rolls his eyes. “That’s because your boyfriends are slags.” He’s never sounded fonder while talking about them, not really meaning it either since it took them ages to do anything than stare at each other. 

“Talking about boyfriends,” Zayn says slowly, choosing to ignore Louis’ lazy comeback. “Have you seen his audition yet? Bloody disgusting how adorable he is.” 

Louis is not really following, confused about why Zayn knows things about Liam that he doesn’t. He can admit that he’s a tiny bit jealous. At least to himself. 

Though, Zayn keeps going so he doesn’t have to wonder for long. “I swear he’d gone further than to Judges’ house if he’d come back.”

“What?” Louis blurts out, feeling like he’s about twelve steps behind Zayn in the conversation. Like they're two completely different conversations even. 

His small outbreak causes Zayn to blink slowly, the tongue of his tip peeking out between his lips. “Oh,” he mumbles out, sheepishly. “You didn’t know.”

“No,” says Louis, crossing his arms over his chest. “No, I didn’t know. So please tell me what you’re talking about.”

Zayn hesitates, glancing towards the open door. “Maybe I shouldn’t.”

Suddenly Louis gets worried for real, when he before he was just curious -- and still jealous that Zayn was more trustworthy than him. Now that’s secondary to having to know what it is that could be so bad that Liam doesn’t want him to know. 

“We can ask Liam if it’s okay that I know,” he suggest, since he really doesn’t want Zayn to tell him Liam’s secrets. He wants Liam to want to tell him them himself. 

Zayn nods, looking relieved. “That’s a great idea.”

Louis is just about to go get Liam, it feels like the fastest way since he’s just the other room, Liam knocks on the already open door. It’s such a good timing, almost too good. Especially when Zayn’s got his old Nokia flip phone in his hand. 

“You wanted something?” Liam asks, looking between them. 

Zayn waves him closer, talks in a low voice. “You know the thing we talked about,” he tilts his head as he says _thing_ , as if it should mean something. It probably does to Liam since he glances towards Louis and his teeth worries his lip. “Maybe you should tell Louis. It’s not like he’ll laugh at you, or anything.”

“I know that,” Liam says, not a hint of doubt in his voice. “It’s just that I didn’t do that well, so it’s a bit embarrassing, really.”

Louis says silent, even though he wants to scream that nothing about Liam could be too embarrassing for him to know. He gladly take Liam home to his mum and show him the worst of the baby pictures his mum have, just to show him that. 

“But he could help out,” Zayn adds, shaking his head when Liam opens his mouth to protest; he doesn’t even need to say a word, the stubborn set of his mouth says it all. “Not because of the fact that you fuck him, babe. You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

Liam sighs, shoulder slumping forward. “Fine,” he agrees, sounding sullen about it. “I was on X Factor when I was fourteen.”

“See,” Zayn grins. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Zayn’s words make a whole lot more sense, and Louis can sort of understand that Liam didn’t tell him. He does know about what Liam’s ex said about him just wanting to sleep his way to a record deal. 

It’s not like Louis think Liam needs to. He’s heard Liam sing; now that he’s started, it’s like Liam can’t stop. He sings everywhere, the silliest songs when he’s in the shower or murmuring out Climax with so much feeling that Louis feels hot just thinking about it.

“Oh,” Louis mumbles, unable to think of the right thing to say. He can’t imagine how that must have been, how terrifying and exciting at once when being so young. “That’s --” _nice_ seems to small, ”-- bloody fantastic,” he settles on, lips curling up in a smile. 

“It really isn’t,” Liam protests, glaring without any real heat at Zayn when he shakes his head. Zayn just smiles and gets up, squeezing Liam’s shoulder on his way out, probably glad he’s out of the meeting so he can see Niall and Harry. 

Louis never said he could go, but he just shrugs and focuses all of his attention on Liam. 

“If you made it so far, you must have been good,” he says. He really means it, so he’s pleased that Liam seems to believe him, relaxing slightly.

“You’re going to watch it,” Liam says, looking a lot more than shy than when he was naked in Louis’ bed the first time. “I know you’re going to, so don’t deny it.”

Louis can’t deny that he likes the pink tint on Liam’s cheeks. 

“I was,” he says easily, shrugging. “You can tell me if you don’t want me to, though.”

Liam shakes his head, curls bouncing around his head. “No, no,” he blurts out, words rushed. “It’s fine.”

Louis pulls up Youtube when he’s alone a little later; earbuds already plugged into his ear. The Liam on the screen reminds him an awful lot about the one he gave a kiss and sent back to Niall minutes earlier. Only so much more innocent and doe-eyed; so, so sad as he’s sent home. 

That Liam didn’t go back, and considering the feedback he got, it’s kind of sad Louis thinks. Liam obviously wanted it, but then life didn’t turn out the way he planned it. It’s not just because Liam’s his boyfriend, or something like that, Louis wants to sign him. 

It’s because Liam’s so good at it. Even at fourteen he was amazing. 

He’ll give Liam time, though. There’s no rush. But as soon as Liam wants to, Louis will do whatever he can to make sure that as many people as possible will know how beautiful Liam’s voice is. 

How wonderful all of him is, really. 

Later that night, he tells Liam so, causing Liam to blush and try to change the subject. Louis lets him, after mumbling the words about how he really feels about Liam’s voice into his hair, messed up after the tickle fight that leads to them rubbing against each other until they both come, both still in their joggers. 

It’s messy and lovely. At least until afterwards when it’s mostly messy, come sticky and uncomfortable as they are too tired to move away from each other. 

“I don’t want you to sign me,” Liam says, once more when Louis thinks he’s asleep. His body so heavy where he rests on Louis’ chest. 

Louis traces Liam’s spine with his fingertips, feeling him relax even more. “I won’t,” he agrees, pretty sure Liam will change his mind. Some day when he’s not so wrapped up in what he’s been told over and over. Louis will make sure that he’s told how wonderful he is enough timed to make up for it, as much as it can. 

“As long as you agree to be my boyfriend,” he says as an afterthought. 

Liam lifts his head, smiling sleepily. “I’d not say no to that,” he mumbles out, voice trembling a little. “I kind of want to call you my boyfriend too.”

“It’s not like everybody haven’t already called you that today,” Louis laughs, having been told by almost everyone at work what he lovely couple he and Liam were. 

Liam just hums, patting his chest clumsily before he falls asleep. 

\-- -- --

Louis doesn't react to the fact that the number that calls him one lazy Saturday morning is unknown, Liam’s curled up on the sofa with his tea while Louis makes himself a new cup. Zayn often misplaces his phone, getting new ones and forgetting to tell Louis his new number. 

It’s not Zayn who asks if it’s Louis she’s talking to, when he mumbles out a, “hello.” He doesn’t recognise the voice, but the accent is weirdly familiar. “Yeah, that’s me.”

“Good,” the woman says, voice shaky even through the phone. “I just wanted to say thank you for being so good to my son.”

“Oh,” Louis mumbles, nodding to himself as he realises just who’s he talking to. 

To be honest, he’s a bit confused about why Liam’s mum is calling him. He knows that Liam’s been talking more to her, even agreed to go home to see the whole family.. 

Liam’s mum doesn’t say anything more, but Louis thinks he can hear her crying, one soft hiccuping breath after another. 

He’s stood there silent for too long, so he says,“Thank you.”

“No really,” Liam’s mum -- Karen Louis thinks Liam said she’s called -- says, as soon as the words are out of his mouth. “He’s been so happy. It’s so wonderful to hear the smile in his voice again.

Louis’ grip on his phone tightens as he thinks about how sad Liam was when they first met, lonely even though he was in a relationship. He can’t put himself in Karen’s shoes, imagine how it must have felt to lose her son little by little and not being able to do anything.

“He’s really lovely,” Louis murmurs, voice soft. “I’m glad to have him here.” He pauses, taking the kettle and pouring the water into his cup. Liam must wonder where he is, but is probably too wrapped up, warm and comfortable on his spot, to go see why Louis is taking so long. “It’s good to have him in the office, too. He’s a great worker.”

“He’s always been like that, so it’s good that he’s got something to do. Not just go and wait for that,” she stops talking, sobbing into her hand for a moment before she pulls herself together again. “It’s a good thing he’s got you.”

Louis nods, not thinking about that she can’t see him. It’s a good thing that Liam got Louis now, but it’s the other way around too. He’s happier when he’s with Liam too. Now that he’s got Liam there in his flat, it feels like he’s content in a way he wasn't before. 

More settled in himself. 

“He told me he’s singing again,” she says, making Louis smile. Liam _is_ singing and is more and more tempted to try to do something with his voice. 

If not with Louis, he might try out for the X Factor once more. 

“He never stops now,” Louis grins, thinking about Liam singing a silly song about tea just before. 

“I do want to meet you. Someday,” Karen says.

Louis can almost hear the smile in Karen’s voice, but Louis still gets nervous. Meeting the parents is a big thing, and it’s not that he doesn’t want that with Liam. It’s just nerve wracking. Especially with how much he wants them to like him. 

“You want to talk to Liam?” Louis asks, when she’s stopped crying and sounds delighted as he talks about Liam. It’s most likely because of how smitten he’s by Liam.

That seems to charm her into liking him, if she already didn’t do that. Louis kind of likes the idea of Liam’s mum being a fan of him, it feels important. Big. 

She laughs. “Of course he is, honey. He lives there, doesn’t he?”

Louis shrugs; he can’t believe himself, that he didn’t realise that Liam had told his mum about that. He’s even told his mum about it, much to her delight. More so when he promised that she’d get to meet Liam someday.

Now he understands Liam’s fidgeting as he said yes when Louis told him about it. Now he knows how it feels to be the one who’s the boy that must be good enough for someone’s son. 

“I bet he misses you,” Karen says, teasingly. “You should go back to him, love.”

When they’ve rung off, Louis puts the phone in his pocket and takes the tea to go join Liam.

“I just had the weirdest call,” says Louis, dropping down next to Liam. He moves around a little, shifting closer, so he’s almost on top of Liam.

Liam laughs, carefully putting the tea on the table to he can give Louis the attention he so badly wants. Deserves, more like. Louis did get Liam breakfast on bed, it counts even though it was just a cheese toastie. 

“Did Harry call to tell you more details about Zayn’s dick again?” 

Louis pokes Liam in the cheek, just where the dimple is. “No.” He pokes Liam once more, causing him to giggle. “It was your mum. She thinks I’m lovely. And she wants to meet me.”

“Gosh,” Liam blurts out, hiding his face behind his hands. “I didn’t think she’d call you.”

“Well, she did,” Louis mumbles, smacking a kiss on Liam’s cheek. “Might be because you’ve told her how much you love me.” 

He doesn’t mean the last part to come out. They’ve never said the little words that mean so much. It’s not that he doesn’t feel it; the crush he’d on Liam at first, is so much more now. Louis’ heart beats hard and fast in his chest as he waits for Liam to say something. 

“Might be, yeah,” Liam agrees, peeking out from behind his hands. 

“I love you too,” he blurts out, surprised that it is so easy to say. “I fucking love you even though your tea is disgusting.”

“Well,” Liam laughs, “I love you even though your feet smell.”

Luckily, their tea mugs are safely on the table as Louis pushes Liam back into the sofa, with a little surprised yelp from Liam. He goes easily, though, slipping his arms around Louis' waist. 

“Nobody’s perfect, I guess,” Louis teases, stopping Liam from answering by kissing him.

\-- -- --

Liam’s mum is lovely, greeting them both with a big smile. A smile that widens even more, when Louis gives her the flowers he picked up at the florist, careful to get just the kinds Liam told him she liked. 

As soon as they’re inside the tiny hall, Karen wraps Liam up in a tight up, holding on for several minutes. Liam’s mumbling soft words to her, stroking her back as she cries.

Both their eyes are shiny with tears when they pull apart, but Karen laughs and shakes her head as she wipes her cheek.

“I said I wouldn’t cry all over you,” she pats Liam’s cheek fondly. “And here I am, crying because my baby boy is home.”

Liam blushes, looking like he rather his mum didn’t call him that. Louis just laughs, making sure to remember the endearment for later; it’ll be good when Liam calls him messy. 

It’s nice, meeting Liam’s mum. And then later his dad and sisters. He feels welcome and hopes that he can take as good care of Liam as they seem to think he can. 

After dinner, Liam leads him to his room, blushing when he opens the door. It’s noticeable that it’s a room that really belongs to a sixteen-year-old boy, the Batman sheets and the Toy Story figures on the shelf above so telling.

It’s charming and so very Liam, that Louis can’t help to close the door and push Liam down on the bed. It’s kind of exciting to snog Liam right there on top of his old bed, knowing that they both have to be quiet not to make things awkward. 

He does think he’ll be back, so it’s better they don’t fuck in Liam bed. No matter how much Louis wants to when Liam makes the sweetest noises into his mouth. 

\-- -- --

On the way back, Liam won’t stop touching him. At first, he takes Louis’ hand as he drives, fingers moving on Louis’ skin in tiny patterns that make it harder for Louis to concentrate.

When Liam puts his hand on Louis’ thigh, he sneaks a glance towards Liam and notices that Liam looks -- well, he looks like he wants to climb up into Louis’ lap and snog him right there. 

Louis lets it go on until Liam’s hand is so close to his now half-hard cock that he’s ready to push Liam’s hand just a little bit higher. Fuck everything he’s learned about safety. 

Instead, he takes the next exit, grinning at Liam when he looks confused. Liam’s hand has stilled on his leg, but he’s not taking it away. 

“Thought we should take a break,” Louis murmurs, putting his hand on top on Liam’s. “Someone’s been a little tease, and I don’t want to wait until we’re home.”

Liam’s grin softens as Louis says _home_ , darting forward to suck at Louis’ bottom lip, teeth a bit harsh. As he pushes away, he drags his tongue over it, soothes away the sting with soft little licks. 

“Good,” he murmurs, taking off his seatbelt and climbing up into Louis’ lap. It’s a tight fit, but Louis’ car is big, so it works. Liam can sit back on his thighs and open Louis’ zipper, wriggling his jeans down far enough so he can fit his hand around Louis’ cock, swelling up so fast in Liam’s hand that his head spins. “I didn’t want to wait either.”

“I bloody noticed,” Louis groans out, head thumping against the headrest. Liam gets right to it, wanking him off with sure flicks of his wrist. 

He’s been kind of on the edge since they made out on Liam’s bed before, so that makes it even harder to hold back. Though, maybe it’s good that it feels like he’s about to come any minute, the spot they parked om may be a bit off, but there’s the risk of people walking by.

“You’re so fucking good,” Louis chokes out. His fingers clutch hard at Liam’s thighs, wrapped tightly around his legs. “Then you do this, can’t believe you.”

Liam smiles cheekily and bites his lip, staring down at his own hand as Louis’ cock jerks in it, pulsing out come that wets his fingers and also Louis’ shirt. 

“Now it’s your turn,” Louis mumbles, voice slightly slurred. Liam nods eagerly, moving into Louis’ hand as he presses it flat against Liam’s cock, clearly outlined through his jeans. 

Louis makes him come like that, rubbing Liam off as he muffles his dirty moans with wet kisses. Not because he doesn’t want Liam to be loud, but because he loves how Liam’s mouth gets slack when Louis does something particularly clever with his hand, thumbing over the head of Liam’s cock like he loves so much. 

When they come home, they shuck off their come stained clothes and goes to bed. Louis thinks he did good, made everyone happy, and Liam seems to agree as he’s smiling softly at him as he turns the light off. 

Louis might have wanted Liam the first time they met, but he didn’t think that they’d end up like this. It really feels like Liam’s meant to be in his life -- he’s glad it’s as his boyfriend, even though he’d been happy with anything. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr post](http://pandadepanda.tumblr.com/post/139224031179/and-were-starting-at-the-end-liam-paynelouis)   
>  [Livejournal post](http://1d-bigbang.livejournal.com/56957.html)


End file.
